Thank you Najm Hichri!

Saxony Line I-XIX

Last time we discovered that Starbucks was going to serve alcohol at a few select stores. This was so popular that we received a "like" on our Facebook post! We would like to personally thank Najm Hichri for liking our post. It is much appreciated. Since it was a liked post we thought we would continue to explore what the alcohol and Starbucks coffee mixture would bring to the world.

Bob in anticipation posted that he hopes that the alcohol will be served near him.

The Swedes and the Irish have long been known to mix coffee and alcohol to good effect.

The Swedes introduced coffee to vodka in the most basic and excellent of recipes I have ever seen back in 1795. It read like this "Put a coin in a cup. Pour on coffee till you can no longer see the coin. Pour on vodka till you can see the coin again.” Considering that the Swedes were slowly getting the snot kicked out of them by the upstart Russian Tsars in the late 18th century it is no surprise that they turned to drinking Vodka with their coffee. That way they could have a pick me up as they were getting knocked down.

The Irish though are the true connoisseurs of alcoholic coffee. January 25th is National Irish Coffee day. So to celebrate I will be combining coffee, whiskey and cream to commiserate with the Irish in their times of austerity. Afterwards I will throw back a pint of Guinness and take in a hurling match.

I'll take a shot of espresso with some vodka thank you

Saxony Line I-XVIII

Last time in our thought experience we focused on the hipster dilemma of facing snow. Since then we have highlighted the Orange County Hipster in all his folly. We also stated "Alas these bitter herbs! They leavest now my mouth in such disarray". Many of you googled this to see who said it. It was an original quote thank you very much.

We focused on the snow storm that pummeled the Pacific Northwest in our last Saxony post so we thought we might do some exploration of the Pac-NW in the vein of Sacagawea and the people who enslaved her. Caustic enough? We're trying to increase readership and we've realized that in this MTV dominated world the only way to be popular is to court controversy. However, we are so civilized that this is difficult for us.

Starbucks, a symbol of the Pacific Northwest that is on par with Redwoods and Nike has announced that they will begin serving alcohol at some of their stores. Starbucks shops in Southern California, Chicago and Atlanta will begin serving alcohol in 2012. We think that this is a brilliant idea. If we could combine Starbucks Sumatra with a double shot of Grey Goose we think we could replace the Jägerbomb. The dark roast and flavorful Sumatra is clearly superior to Red Bull and we think that the avoidance of cinnamon flavored liqueur is advisable to anyone not aged 19-23 and possessing female tendencies. We're off to Chicago to pitch our new cocktail. See you in the Windy City!

It's snowing on the hipsters

Saxony Line I-XVII

We have come to realize that we write better when we're not hungry. Our last post was on Ramen Noodles. They weren't as tasty as we had hoped. They were more bitter than ironic. Alas these bitter herbs! They leavest now my mouth in such disarray.

Speaking of disarray, the Pacific Northwest has been hit by a massive snowstorm. Seattle and Portland were hit hard by the white stuff. It caused a whole bunch of fallen trees and down power lines leaving nearly a quarter of a million people without electricity. Plus, with all of the hipsters running about in scarves and v-neck ironic tee shirts it is likely that a flu pandemic will break out. That picture is an accurate description of what happens when snow falls on a hipster. He continues his walk nonchalantly as if nothing happened. Well played hipster.

But not all hipsters were so free of being mean spirited. One hipster chick in Seattle decided to unleash a cruel and vicious snarking on an unsuspecting news reporter. The reporter was simply trying to let the public know that sledding into a busy street might be a bad decision. But Miss Hipster decided that that advice was unwarranted and unwelcome. After blasting the reporter Miss Hipster went to a trendy coffee shop where she read some poetry by someone you've never heard of whilst listening to a band that plays music that stretches credulity to calling it music.

We're sorry we offended the wealthy

Saxony Line I-XVII

Last time on our beloved Saxony think tank extravaganza we touched on a whole host of topics. It was like a Kevin Bacon separation thing that started with the Danish delicacy smørrebrød and ended with Cosmonauts commenting on how their ship's nose peeled back upon reentry to the earth's atmosphere. It was logical, concise and flawless. It was so self-explanatory it was nearly tautological. We did it completely without the aid of Wikipedia as well, because they were too busy soiling their neutrality reputation by siding with pirates and Swedish religious zealots.

In our perfection that was the tautology we remunerated financial crisis with temper tantrums. That was maybe a bit unwise. Wall Street called us and chided us for being so insensitive. Multi-millionaires struggled through those rough days of 2008 to the point where many almost had to drop the multi- part of their status. We are truly and deeply sorry if we caused offense to any millionaire that struggled to know where the next luxury item was going to come from in the time of the Great Recession. Whoops! Excuse me a moment, my water is boiling over, I have to put my Ramen Noodles in.

As we were saying it was wrong of us to make insensitive comments. At least however, we were not so flippant, arrogant, delusional and downright stupid in our offensive statement. Mark Wahlberg had some real apologizing to do and he did, sort of. Then he directed blame at the person interviewing him. I won't offer my satire here. You can simply heap scorn upon him yourselves.

Well, I'm going to go for now and enjoy my low-budget noodles. If you get a chance, could you send me some foie gras au jus? It might make my Ramen a bit classier than I can afford. Thanks.

Cosmonauts eat Reuben Sandwich, MF Global meltdown

Saxony Line I-XVI

The Saxony Line stops for nothing, except the philosopher's frolic and jaunt to the beach. For that, all thought can desist. Last time though we were having a look at the Denmark presidency over the EU and the sadness that the green agenda faced. We also talked about the Southern Europeans possible appropriation of Danish things. We mentioned in it Ivar the Boneless but we can't do a follow up today because of Wikipedia's protests. How could I ever give a quality post without Wikipedia?

So we'll have to make due with some semi-factual thought train beginning smørrebrød. I could go for a delicious smørrebrød because of the rye bread. Mishkin's is purporting to offer the best way to make Reuben sandwiches but Meg Ryan and I both agree that the only true best of all possible ways of making a Reuben is to walk into Katz and drop $16.55 on the counter while being crushed by the line behind. Katz's Deli has been known to bring together some fierce rivals, especially in the face of MF Globals meltdown. Speaking of meltdowns, did you see Marcos Baghdatis' treatment of his poor rackets the other day? I haven't seen a meltdown like that since Gherman Titov's ship came swirling back from space.

So there you have it, from smørrebrød to cosmonauts in seven precise and logical steps, Without the aid of Wikipedia.

Denmark takes over the European Union, green turns blue

Saxony Line I-XV

Last time as we were tromping around the hallowed halls of this mental construct loosely based upon the Chemnitz, Dresden and Leipzig union we call Saxony we discussed pancakes, and the danger of eating them. This post was the most viewed of all my one hundred and eleventieth posts. Thanks for that! In it we discussed the Danish West Indies so we'd thought we'd have a look at them Danes today.

Denmark took over as the President of the European Union yesterday and it faces a great number of challenges in the year ahead. There is question over the survival of the Euro. There are Euro skeptics about making noise, especially in Britain and France with Marine Le Pen and National Front. There is tension between the 17 euro zone members and the 10 others who are part of the European Union but don't use the euro. In the midst of all this the Danes took center stage and set forth their green agenda. The timing was a bit awkward though because on the day that Denmark took over the European Union, ushering in a green agenda, Vestas, the world's largest producer of wind energy announced that they were cutting 2,335 jobs. That makes the green very blue.

To be fair, Vestas is just another victim of the European sovereign debt crisis and there is nothing wrong with the model per se. Companies simply are being crushed by their governments' debts. Note to America... However, it ought to be a good year for the Danes in charge of the European Union. They are a northern country that tends to be better with their money than those pesky southerners. Hopefully we will see a bit of Copenhagen in places like Athens, Oporto, Madrid, Rome and further south. If this were to happen what could we expect?

Could we see Athenians trading their gyros and moussaka for a hearty Smørrebrød? Somehow though I don't see too many Greeks giving up their buttery and flakey deliciousness for a hunk of dense rye bread topped with salmon and roe.

Could we see the Casa da Música host Chris Minh Doky and his jazz stylings to see the sluggish Portuguese economy revive? Why not? The Casa da Música is one of Portugal's premier venues and an icon of the city that has Northern European touches already (it was designed by a Dutch architect).

Could we see Danish design and architecture take hold in the streets, buildings and hearts of madrileños? Would a row or two of Arne Jacobsen's Swan Chairs be inappropriate at the Temple of Debod? Would some Danish Functionalism blend well with the baroque the façade of Basílica of San Miguel? We'll say that Swan Chairs are appropriate in any location, including relocated Ancient Egyptian ruins in Spain, but that the minimalism of Functionalism would cause serious harm to Madrid's historical vistas.

Could we see a Renaissance of Gabriel Axel in Lazio, rolling down the peaks of the Tolfa Mountains and pouring out into the Maremma Laziale before entering the gates of Rome to receive his long due triumph? His movie Babbete's Feast could play out and a simple act of kindness repaid could cause a mystical reawakening of glorious proportions. We are unfortunately though realizing that if the Gabriel Axel Renaissance takes place in the land of Silvio Berlusconi it shan't be Babbete's Feast that leads the way but Gabriel Axel's manifesto to legalize pornography Det kære legetøj. We can already see the bunga bunga headlines.

Or could we even see a return of the Vikings just in time to crush the Somali pirates who look to choke the life out of the trading industry in the Indian Ocean? The Somalis would never be a match for Ragnar Lodbrok and his longships. The once reviled scourge of Rouen and Paris could atone for his heathen conquest of France and extract more than 7000 pounds of silver from the Somalis. Unleash thy fury and thy sons Ragnar - especially Ivar the Boneless. That man is terrifying. York still quakes in fear.

The Danger of Pancakes

Saxony Line I-XIV

Last time on our trek through this delightful little mind game of the Saxony Line we practice the long forgotten skill of mnemotechnics as we cantered through the year that was in 1917. The Saxony Line XIII was also the first time that anybody commented on Lebnizian Ramblings. Thank you very much Glenn for your support! But on our little stroll through the archives we touched on a number of topics. We shan't retell them all here so go ahead and click to be transported back to a time when Livery Stable Blues was bumping on the phonographs and the Danish West Indies only cost a cool $25 million dollars.

While we won't recall and thus bore you, with all the details of our 1917 post we will remind you that 1917 witnessed the birth of the NHL. Today in the NHL comes a story of delicious proportions. For full disclosure purposes I don't particularly enjoy pancakes. They are too thick. I'm not anti-pancake, I simply prefer the Swedish kind or possibly crepes topped with lingonberries. It's something about the thinness of the breakfast delicacy that lulls me into a false sense of security. The thickness of American pancakes is overwhelming to me. But let us not chase this rabbit to deep into that hole.

Dustin Penner, a Left Winger currently playing for the Los Angeles Kings has had a solid career since breaking into the league with Anaheim in 2005. He scores enough goals and he's won a Stanley Cup. His biggest problems have all centered around his weight. In 2008 while playing for Edmonton he was criticized by his coach Craig MacTavish after Penner sat out two games in a row for not being physically fit enough to play. So, Dustin has a bit of a weight problem. He enjoys eating, especially apparently, pancakes. Most people, your humble philosopher of note aside, like eating pancakes. The problem was when Penner sat down to a stack of the syrupy hotcakes the other day his back seized up and spasmed. He had to miss a game on account of the pancakes.

I know there has been a lot of sympathy and scorn surrounding this situation and the Leibnizian Ramblings maintains impartiality in our quest to simply inform so we will not wade into the waters of judgment on this occasion. We pride ourselves on our impartiality and would never do anything to jeopardize that vaunted status in our own mind. But, it may be in our interest to inform Dustin that it is possible to enjoy pancakes without the danger of throwing one's back out. As we mentioned earlier in this post the problem with pancakes is that they are simply so heavy.

If Dustin wishes to continue to enjoy pancakes without the possibility of a humiliating injury it might be advisable to switch to a lighter version of the breakfast dainty. While not everyone will enjoy the tartness of lingonberry on Swedish pancakes, we think that even the most diehard pancake fan will enjoy the skinnier versions. Maybe he should try palacinky, naleśniki or pannenkoek, all of which are significantly less girth than your average American or Scottish flapjack. But, Gottfried you may ask us, will this skinny pancakes be less filling? Don't the rigors of a North American classic sport like Hockey demand a heartier pancake? Well, the Swedes play a pretty mean puck too don't ya know? The Tre Kronor have gotten themselves a couple of those gold medals in recent olympics. That isn't all that bad eh? They eat skinny pancakes. But their strength might actually be from the lingonberries.

1917, a year fondly remembered

Saxony Line I-XIII

Last time on the Saxony Line we misread the date of a newspaper article and reported a German invasion of Venice, albeit 34, 383 days late. But it got us thinking about the year 1917. 1917 was an eventful year.

The University of Oregon won the 3rd Rose Bowl with a 14-0 win over Pennsylvania.

The US Government tired of searching for their number one enemy at the time, Pancho Villa.

Puerto Ricans became American citizens.

The Romanov family of Russia were deposed ushering in the much lengthier Soviet age.

Poland made a come back.

Carl Karcher, founder of the delicious Carl's Jr was born.

Yugoslavia shows up on the map.

There's a whole bunch of striking going on in Spain (somethings never change).

The NHL was born.

The glorious Don Republic held sway over territory formerly held by the Tsar (for 2 weeks).

Finland breaks free of Russia.

Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, the Beatle's guru was born.

Zsa Zsa Gabor was born.

Sadly the world lost two greats, Edgar Degas and Buffalo Bill Cody. Both were influential in the development of art. One in sculpting, the other in kitsch.

To end this post we will simply quote the darling Zsa Zsa Gabor, "I call everyone 'Darling' because I can't remember their names." So witty.

Angela Merkel leads the Prussian invasion of Venice

Saxony Line I-XII

Already we have the twelfth experience on the pure consciousness expereince that is the Saxony Line. Incredible. Last time we talked about the ruination of the Great Wall and the possibility of Venice sinking into the ocean just in time for the Mayan Doomsday to drop the boom on all of us. Since we're concerned about Venice we thought we'd might take a gander at what was going on over there these days. So we started to do our normal research methodology that I won't share for proprietary reasons. But we got all confused.

We began reading from the Pittsburgh Post-Gazeette about how the Italian ingenuity had spoiled August von Mackensen and his war machine from capturing the "wonder" city of the world. A number of gates had been opened to let a few rivers flood creating a 12 mile triangle of water that would be difficult to pass quickly through. In the meantime French troops were marching quickly down to aid their besieged ally. We thought we had missed something somewhere and that war had broken out unbeknownst to us.

We figured that Silvio Berlusconi had held a bunga-bunga in the Doge's palace where he had poisoned Mario Monti, the technocratic mastermind that will hopefully save Italy (and thus, my portfolio) from a Greek tragedy. Having poisoned Monti, Berlusconi had then taken back power in a ruthless coup that would have made the Participazio family proud. Fed up with all the southern nonsense Kaiser Merkel decided to simply occupy Italy for the time being to restore some good old fashioned Prussian order. Nicolas Sarkozy would have gone along with the deal but Marine Le Pen would have none of it and started down towards venice with goose-stepping militias in tow.

Thankfully though, we realized that the paper had been published on November 17, 1917. We were relieved when we figured that out. So Venice is fine. But, Venice is sinking into the ocean. Go now.

Walking the wall before the apocalypse

Saxony Line I-XI

Last time on the thought stream that is the Saxony Line we talked about drugs and some possible solutions, albeit somewhat incoherently. In it we made a vague reference to the Great Wall of China. Many have traversed the Great Wall in its long history. But today we bring you a chance to help someone do it for a good cause.

Chloe Dace is trekking the Great Wall to raise money for Childreach International. Childreach International has worked with children in Tanzania, India, Pakistan, Nepal, Cambodia and Bangladesh. Here is a link for you to check out if you are so inclined. The idea behind the 200 kilometer walk is to raise enough money to help some children out. You can do that by going here. She's going in June of this year.

Which brings us to our next point, if you would like to experience something cultural in China you best do it soon. China's historic and cultural sites are coming under pressure from expansion in the name of economic growth. Even the wall that Ms Dace is going to traverse for charity is not immune. The BBC says that the Wall is not immune from erosion or unauthorized development. So, if you want to see it before it is either torn down or commercialized with Chinese versions of McDonald's go now. If you go after there are the McDonald's don't eat the Cat Stew - it's poisoned.

Also, Venice is sinking into the ocean. Go now.

And if that wasn't bad enough, you have until December 21, 2012 to do it because afterwards everything will be a big pile of rubbish.

Thoughts on drugs

Saxony Line I-X

The last time we left the Saxony Line we were relishing in the sardonic phoenix that came from the ashes of the supercouple of yesteryear, Bennifer. Whilst traversing the quondam hollywood pop culture we took a look at where the former members were these days in churlish fashion. Upon review we stumbled into the underbelly of society and touched on mobsters. So, it is from the frivolity of hollywood copulations that we move to the more serious matter of organized crime. One can only hope that we can combine them as well as Growing up Gotti.

Organized crime though is no laughing matter, especially in Latin America. In assessing the year 2011, El Salvador has shown a spike in the murder rate that marks the highest since the civil war in 1992. There were more than 4300 murders, many attributed to drug trafficking and street gangs. Over 12000 were left dead on account of the drug cartels in Mexico. Victories over the gangs can seem joyless in Latin America The Urabeños leader, Juan de Dios Usuga was killed by Colombian forces this week. But, as with many organized crime rings, the Urabeños are well poised to continue their control of the drug trade without Usaga under the leadership of his brother. Even the most stable of the Latin American nations are facing issues due to the drug traffickers. Costa Rica possess no standing army and its police have not caused a major issue for stability since 1949. But, recently its president, Laura Chinchilla recently stated that the surge in organized crime creates the biggest threat to democracy the country has ever seen.

Moving forward people have put up a number of ideas. The first and most visible involve the war on drugs. Many people have claimed this to be a failure because of the high percentage of incarcerated men and women for simple possession crimes. While this may cause a burden on the State it does not mean that crime should go unpunished. Others have suggested that the border wall will do wonders in the fight against drug trafficking. New sophisticated tunnels will prove this option fruitless. Also, the Great Wall in China didn't manage to keep invaders out and there is little hope that we'll get it right this time. But, the most destructive suggestion in my opinion is to legalize the drugs and remove the incentive for the crime groups. Legalizing drugs however would only create different problems. Drugs are harmful. Marijuana may not cause as many problems as alcohol, but this is not a good argument. It just deepens our understanding of the problems with substance abuse.

Obviously something has got to change. Creating more viable lives in the countries where the drugs are grown and trafficked would be a start. However, free trade does not solve all problems. Nor does Education. They do however help. Giving people purpose and resources to achieve that purpose will bring about, albeit slowly, culture shift. The allure for easy money is too great to stop. But, the legalization route will only push the crime groups into new fields and then there will be people suffering from substance abuse that might not have otherwise. Drugs are a global problem, not a Latin American one. The countries that use the vast majority of the drugs must do more to stymie the desire for them in their countries. They must also work with the governments of the countries that produce the drugs. The countries that produce the drugs must have governments willing to work with more developed countries to stop the production. Of course this is all vague, but each case has to be handled based on its own variables. A simple solution does not exist. The more time wasted looking for such an answer will only cause the problem to grow. But a collective effort by all interested parties could slowly work to change hearts and minds whilst overpowering the gangs.

Bennifer, 7 years on

Saxony Line I-IX

Last time on our journey through the mind of Saxony we gave a concise history of Carson, CA. During our investigation we discovered prancing ponies, defeated marines, Dr. Dre and the gift that continues to give long after its death, Bennifer. So I thought it might be a good opportunity to ask, where are Ben and Jen these days?

Ben is working on branching out in doing something he has never done before. He has an upcoming biopic about Whitey Bulger. For those of you unfamiliar with this character, Bulger was a Boston gangster responsible for murders, loan sharking, racketeering and a litany of RICO worthy offenses. Obviously this will be a step outside of Ben's comfort zone to play in a movie about Boston and crime. If that was stretching him enough he's teaming up with Matt Damon, someone he's never worked with before. The movie could be something completely new for us.

Meanwhile Jennifer is talking marriage with her new beau. Like Affleck, she is taking time to do something she's never done before, a whirlwind romance. It's incredible that her busy schedule, what with all those successful Fiat commercial endeavors she's been a part of recently, to find time to kindle romance. In a strange twist I have heard that their first dance will be Pitbull's song Rain Over Me, ironically featuring Marc Anthony.

The T.R.I.B.E rides deep, so deep you might drown.

Saxony Line I-VIII

Last time we spoke about the difference between common decency and political correctness. It wasn't our best post. It was just what we were feeling at the moment. But, we needn't travel very far for the continuation of the illustrious Saxony Line of pure thought experiment. Sticking in Carson, California we have found a topic that has piqued our interest, whetted our appetites and made us want to share with you - the faithful reader of the ramblings of a reinvigorated 17th century philosopher of note.

Carson is a city in Los Angeles County with an unique history. There are two anecdotes I wish to relate to you to further your well-rounded education. First, is the Battle of the Old Woman's Gun. It was fought between the Californio Lancers and the US Marines on October 8-9, 1846. The Marines outnumbered the Californios 4-1 but the Lancers galloped their horses on the dusty Dominguez Hills while running back and forth between their canons. The 200 marines thought they had run into a much larger force and ended up retreating back to the sea. The reason it is called the Battle of the Old Woman's Gun is because like Hollywood nowadays, Californians have a penchant for dramatizing everything. Remember this is the same state that brought us movies based on the riveting history of the Johnson County Wars (Heaven's Gate), the fascinating cult that is Scientology (Battlefield Earth) and Bennifer (Gigli - even Ben's lost interest).

The second fascinating point of history of Carson is a spy who struck it rich with oil. Frederick Russell Burnham was a spy caught up in the with Fritz Duquense of the Duquesne Spy Ring. In true Hollywood style Burnham bested his rival after the second Boer war, moved to California and stuck those same dusty Dominguez Hills the Californios and their prancing ponies had used to best the Marines in 1846. So that is the truncated, uh, I mean, concise history of Carson, California. All the main points. Also, Carson has had a number of notable rappers live in its confine. Dr. Dre, The Game, Ras Kass, Bishop Lamont and most importantly Boo-Ya T.R.I.B.E.

The T.R.I.B.E rides deep, so deep you might drown.

Common decency is not political correctness

Saxony Line I-VII

We last left the pure stream of consciousness that is the Saxony Line with IBM's claim that mind control is possible and the potential dangers that brings if it falls into the wrong hands. We also discussed the ramifications of thinking about the president of the United States and our smartphones dialing him up only to receive a knock at the door by the Secret Service. This thought mystified and terrified us. Now, we are scared even more by the Secret Service after learning that they monitor social media for negative comments.

A failed city council candidate in Carson, California was approached by the Secret Service for remarks that he made on his Facebook page, calling for the monkey president to be assassinated. The Secret Service came aknocking for this. At first, I was scared by the Secret Service and wondered aloud if they were monitoring me for my incendiary comments. Then I had a simultaneous dawning of two important facts. First, I am not a racist and have never posted anything close to this type of vile on any webposting or personal journal. Second, I have a very limited audience whom I wish to thank for checking in on my ramblings. Even if I were to make a stupid comment (unlikely given my intellect) only a small handful of people would notice.

But the thing that scared me the most were the comments on this article. Many rightly condemned the man for his remarks. Unfortunately, many who condemned the remarks did so in hypocritically inflammatory language. The moral high ground was lost in red-neck cracker remarks. More disturbing was those who defended the man and his remarks on the grounds that we need not be so politically correct. While political correctness has stymied positive intellectual debate in recent years, referring to any human being in a derogatory way based on the color of his skin is not merely being politically incorrect. It is being closed-minded and racist. Racism has no place in the modern world. This has nothing to do with cultural relativism, only with decency and the mantra to treat others how you wish to be treated. Humanity is a broken lot. Further dividing us by skin color is something we do not need. Tamper down the rhetoric folks. At the end of the day, we're all human.

Mind control within five years! Lovely, odd, disheartening and potential danger to imminently follow

Saxony line I-VI

Recently we discussed the novocolonial mind control techniques of the world's most interesting man of creating something meaningful out of utter meaningless. Today, we must continue our journey after taking a day of vacation to celebrate Boxing Day. So without further ado, we move from the world's most interesting man's coercive persuasion through peddling Dos Equis to a more incredible form of mind control. IBM has predicted that mind powered PCs will be commonplace in five years. Click here for substantiation.

The ability to call a person merely by thinking of them is an incredible idea. Right now, I'm thinking of my incredible fiancee. My phone could be dialing her up right now. But, what if I were to begin to think of someone say, President Obama. Am I going to get through to him? Will I get a knock at the door by some CIA agents because I disagree with a president and think about what I'd like to say to him? Or more eerily, what if I think of my old nemesis François-Marie Arouet? Will my cellular ring him with unwanted and transdimensional consequences? Somehow I think that St. Peter and Anubis are going to figure out ways to block incoming calls, but the technology might have to play catchup to IBM's Jedi force tricks. It all depends on where Steve Jobs resides in the hereafter as to whether upstairs or downstairs has the latest, most stylish tech.

The EPOC neurohead set, purchasable for $299 here and shown in the picture above has caused a more sinister thought to creep its way into my otherwise optimistic mind. The mohawk sporting fellow obviously is the primary target market of Urban Outfitters. God help us all if neurotechnology were to fall into the hands of UO! Will there be a champion to arise that will save us from the evil designs of UO?

Mexican beer and the difference between neocolonialism and novocolonialism.

Saxony Line I-V

Continuing on our incredible research and truth mission to spread optimism to this world whilst tackling pressing issues I recently coined the term novocolonialism. Many of you undoubtedly read this and assumed that I was making merely a linguistic preference as I had with using blogist over blogger. However, in this instance I am not using some parlor trick of language, but making a clear distinction between neocolonialism and novocolonialism.

Neocolonialism is the practice of using economic or global trends by a country with economic clout to control a smaller, less influential country in the same manner as major powers once used military might to colonize regions. Novocolonialism is something entirely different. While both are exploitive in nature, neocolonialism with its use of economic forces to control weaker peoples and nations, novocolonialism employs scatter paint and lyrical abstraction to serve as some sort of mind control. What novocolonialists seek to do is to present something to an entity they feel as inferior with something that has utterly no meaning. However, in reality the presentation has absolutely no meaning. But, because it has been presented as meaningful it causes the unwitting viewer the consternation of creating meaning from the meaningless. The two most egregious examples of this in recent times are the most interesting man in the world and this guy. Strangely, I feel like a Mexican beer and a horse ride.

Gender Bending Photomontages and a redefining of art

Saxony line I-IV

The last time we wrote on overstockart.com's top ten oil paintings of 2011 featuring paintings no more recent than 79 years. It made me pause for a second. I thought maybe oil paintings stopped being made well. But, as any good thinker does, I went to the source. Upon further investigation I believe that the top ten paintings of 2011 won their award due to the layout and marketing of the website and not because of any intrinsic value within the paintings. Score one for Capitalism, zero for art. But, I did like some of the paintings from artists that I had not ever noticed before.

One of them was a lady by the name of Hannah Höch from my western neighbor of Gotha, Thuringia. She was a German Dada artist who had a penchant bucking against conventions and traditional roles of men and women. Which could explain the hairy arms of a female mannequin or the winking male mask upon slender female legs in those pictures above. Or she could have been like most dada artists and have simply been strange.

Of course, whenever one thinks of Dada art, which is surprisingly often, they instantly think of Marcel Duchamp's seminal piece Fountaine. The thought provoking nature of a urinal has forever shaped the way we view art. The dethroning of the artist as a god and shifting art estimation from valuing the creative process' work to the more sophisticated mind's interpretative prowess has allowed us to have a definition of art so vast that everything can be considered art. (Thankfully for this blog, my labor no longer constitutes the merit of the work. It simply exists as art, next to literary genius like Plato's Republic, Tolstoy's War and Peace, Proust's In Search of Lost Time and Meyer's New Moon).

On a completely unrelated note I recently hung a reproduction of the Mona Lisa at a 14 degree tilt in a frame that I bought from the local hardware store, took a polaroid of it and signed my name on the white bottom part and submitted it to the local art show. The piece is entitled "Abs? Ur De Leibniz" Last night was the opening of the show and my picture was nowhere to be found. I plan on writing a rather scathing oped piece for the New York Times denouncing the bourgeois establishment that this plastic art community now operates under through their neo-expressionist, novocolonial oppressive mechanistic mindset. On the upside however the piece can be found on eBay for the low bargain of $4.95 and rising (plus $19.95 s&h).

Score two for capitalism, zero for art.

Top 10 Oil Paintings of 2011

Saxony Line I-III

Continuing the glorious Saxony Line of Thought...

Thanks to these guys I now know the ten most popular oil paintings of 2011.

1. Starry Night - Vincent Van Gogh (1889)

2. Café Terrace at Night - Van Gogh (1888)

3. Branches of an almond tree in blossom - Van Gogh (1888)

4. The Kiss - Gustav Klimt (1908)

5. Garden path at Giverny - Claude Monet (1902)

6. Poppy field at Argenteuil - Monet (1875)

7. The Dream - Pablo Picasso (1932)

8. Farbstudie Quadrate - Wassily Kandinsky (1913)

9. Persistence of Memory - Salvador Dali (1931)

10. The Old Guitarist - Pablo Picasso (1903)

It is my conclusion from the dates of the paintings that all art stopped prior to World War II, or at least there hasn't been any good art produced since then. Join me next time when we discuss the nature of popularity. Adieu.

Crumbled blueberry scone and Libidinous Goans

Saxony Line I-II

In my research today I learned that nullification is a form of body modification where one voluntarily removes a body part. I simply have no optimistic estimation of this. Therefore, nullification is simply out as a topic to continue this glorious Saxony Line. I also wonder what Gerhard Richter is doing, trying to nullify everyone with his blurs.

Gerhard Richter was in the news today. He, or rather the dangerous nullifying blurs that he is known for, are on display at the Tate Modern until the 8th of January. All my friends in the UK that have a penchant for daredevilry should go and scope this out. So long as I keep all of my limbs in tact, I must admit that I do enjoy a good destabilizing force in modernist fashion coupled with post-modern ruination. It goes excellent with a shot of brandy sunken into an espresso with a blueberry scone. For the full effect pour the brandied espresso on the sauce and crumble the scone into the mug. Perfect ruination.

All this talk of scones and espresso has rather perked up my appetite. Apologies for that sidetrack. Onward the glorious Saxony Line of thought!

The thing that I wanted most to discuss today was this show at the Vadehra Art Gallery in New Delhi called Picasso-Souza. There is a mess of cubism and pre-cubism and post-cubism doodling hanging on the walls by two artists, one well known (Pablo Picasso: Fumear a la cigarette rouge) and one not so well known (Francis Newton Souza: untitled, head of picasso). Fair play to the Hindustan Times on giving me the heads up on this one. It was a lot easier to read things about Earth in Heaven because of the whole time difference.

Obviously Picasso is a master and I like cubism, maybe not as much as its offshoots sprinkled with a little bit of Surrealism, but I like it. I even checked up on this guy Francis Newton Souza. He's from Goa, India and was a leader in the Progressive Artists' Group of Bombay. I checked out some of their work too. Good stuff. Anyway, this isn't really a critique, I don't feel I've got the chops to critique Picasso. Especially since he knows where I live upstairs.

I will say this though, Conor Macklin , comparing the two said, "The two had a lot in common." He then summarized what they had in common: being "competitive" and "iconic". I get that. Neither forgot their roots, Spain for Picasso and India for Souza. Good so far. Both led artistic revolutions, one in Europe and the other in India. Spot on. But then he says, "they were both criticized - Picasso for his anti-war works, and Souza for his erotic ones." What?

I don't know the back story of Souza enough to know why he painted erotic paintings. Maybe it was only to paint erotic paintings, but sometimes art has a deeper meaning. The Saxony Line of thinking marches on towards a different path than researching the deeper, more secret meaning to Souza's concupiscent caricatures. (If you know it post it here on a comment please). But at first blush the director of Grosvenor Vadhera Gallery in London equates a pacifism stance with a horny one. Read it in the headlines. It's all there. None of this is made up. Enjoy the art!

Leipzig Football and Blurry Art

Saxony Line I-I

I was traipsing around my old home in Leipzig this afternoon looking for something to get me started when I stumbled upon the football scene. I was dismayed to find the FC Lokomotive Leipzig, or VfB Leipzig if you will, plays in the 5th tier of the German football league system. We are far removed from our 7-2 thrashing of DFC Prag to claim the Viktoria Meisterschaftstrophaee!!! But, nonetheless here is FC Lokomotive now.

But, I am not here to talk football. That will come in due time. I was looking for a starting point for my Saxony line of thinking. Traipsing around and galavanting through the streets of Leipzig proved fruitless and attracted too much attention with my incredible flowing locks so I took to a more quiet and reserved place and checked on the news at a local pub. I listened for awhile as men and women gabbed over things when I happened upon a conversation that caught my attention.

I overheard a few men discussing whether or not Dresden's own Gerhard Richter was truly the world's greatest artist. I enjoy art so I took a look at some of Richter's work. I began to question my eyesight because of his "blur" technique. How was I supposed to know that his blurring was intentional. I said to myself, "self, you must get some glasses because this beautiful artwork is blurry". Apparently though, I had not said this to myself because a feisty little tween, who ironically looked like an unblurred version of the painting, informed me that it was intentional. "The blur", she said "was done in order to nullify the subject in order to make it difficult to understand. The painting of the photograph intensifies the plastic nature of painting". With that she walked away.

I was left feeling a little bit nullified myself. I began to feel a bit grumpy at the pretentiousness of the little girl and my complete and utter lack of understanding of this art. But, then I began to become a bit more cheery as I thought to myself, now I have two more subjects to look into, art and nullification. Ah, the study of beauty is such a rich and enjoyable subject when one has the leisure to perceive it!