Justice Sotomayor, Guam and Puerto Rico

Associate Justice Sonia Sotomayor has traveled to Guam to swear in some lawyers, one of whom is named Perfecto T. Gallman. We know nothing about this individual other than he has a great name. On her trip though Justice Sotomayor drew some parallels between Guam and Puerto Rico. Justice Sotomayor is of Puerto Rican descent and knows the ins and outs of the ceaseless debate over what Puerto Ricans want and/or do not want and/or might not want now but will later.

Guam and Puerto Rico both share a special unincorporated status within the United States. Puerto Rico has more independence in their governance, but both territories struggle with the same basic options: the status quo, full independence, or statehood. There are also people in Guam who would like to join Hawaii and gain statehood in that fashion. Statehood would give the the people of Guam and Puerto Rico more voice in national politics. But, it wold also come with more centralized controls.

For now though Justice Sotomayor makes a good point. She, and we are paraphrasing, states that the choices of the citizens of the two territories ought to be the deciding factor. These should come in an evolutionary fashion and not a revolutionary way. This way no hasty decisions are made and annexation, long out of fashion, makes a comeback. However, that said, the fifty stars could use a sprucing up. It's been stuck at that number for 53 years. A new star or too might brighten the mood in the ol' US of A.

A profile of Tuvalu

We here at Leibnizian Ramblings consider ourselves to be on par with Reuters and the BBC and The Onion. We have the conciseness of Reuters, the breadth of BBC and the sardonic genius of the Onion, making us a superblog. We are an island unto ourselves. Yep, you understand us and all our grandiose nature.

It is for this reason that we are copying the BBC trend and profiling Tuvalu.

Tuvalu is an archipelago of nine islands that is having to deal with increasing salinity. The country makes money by having official relations with Taiwan and selling its domain name to a Californian company. In addition to this, it has a wealth of coconuts. If they ever decide to make a sequel to Castaway, we will be the first to recommend filming on one of the nine islands of Tuvalu.

Basically, Tuvalu, one of the least populated countries in the world is made up of Palagi (non-Samoan inhabitants). Considering that description fits most of the world because most of us are not Samoan, that description is entirely inadequate to describing this country's inhabitants. Thanks for nothing Wikipedia....

Tuvalu culture is basically Polynesian in substance. The most fascinating part of that is what are known as work songs. Work songs are sung by women to encourage the men to work. Work songs have played an important role in many cultures. They helped men on ships and slaves (as well as many other things). I for one am in favor of this. I would love to have a Tuvaluan woman singing for me as I write this blog. Sadly though, the only sound I here are my fat fingers banging too hardly upon the Mac keyboard. It would not count as music, unless you happen to be a Dadaist. Even then though, it would be a stretch...

Land Diving, Kardashians and happily ever after

Ok, so this is nothing new. I'm sure that you've seen this all before. But, we had not. The other day we were watching a British television show called An Idiot Abroad. The name of this show has a bit of a personal meaning for us that we won't get into. What we saw was shocking. The show's hosts were in Vanuatu visiting a tribe that lived on Pentecost Island.

The local men would climb up this rickety wooden platform and then dive as if they were diving into the water with two vines tied to their ankles. First, the height from which they are diving from is any where from 60 to 100 feet. Second, when they near the ground the snap sound made by the vines forced to me to respond audibly in horror. We scared the children with our exclamations.

The ritual in the video is used to bless the yams. But, the diving is all about showing off one's manliness. Apparently their are some stories about how it started. A woman was very put off by her husband's rapacious sexual appetites and ran away from him into the woods. The husband gave chase. She then tied vines to her ankles and jumped off a cliff to escape him. Seeing that his wife had not died the man jumped to his death. The men jump now so they cannot be tricked by a woman. Interestingly though, the woman who escaped her husband moved to Los Angeles to become a marriage counselor. She had a pretty famous practice and garnered A-List celebrities like Kim Kardashian and Heidi Klum. She is also working to ensure that Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel make it happily ever after for at least two years.

Something is afoul in Tonga...

Tonga and an Abu Dhabi based firm have agreed to terms to build a solar plant on the island of Vava'u. This plant will provide up to 13% of Tonga's energy needs, which is spectacular. Of course Tonga has a tiny population in comparison to the United States, but if the US could take initiative like the small Oceania nation, energy needs could be met through renewable resources as well. But that is neither here nor there.

What is afoul though has nothing to do with renewable energy, but new islands showing up near the Vava'u archipelago in 2006 and now a company from the United Arab Emirates is linking up with a nation that produces new islands. The UAE has long been looking to make artificial islands. The Palm Islands are examples of how the UAE has been tampering with mother nature to produce man-made islands. So too is Saadiyat Island, a construction project designed to create another rich enclave near Abu Dhabi, as if there weren't enough wealthy sections already.

Why do I smell something fishy here? Other than the obvious Ocean reference that I won't bore you with, the metaphorical thrust of what I'm going for is this: the UAE has a tendency to build islands by any means necessary. They throw sand in the water and then force workers to do things that the Human Rights Watch condemns. While this corporate bullying is nothing all that spectacular, if the UAE gets the prerequisite knowledge of how to make artificial islands by tapping into volcanic power, millions of exploited workers could be out of a job. Plus, evil lurks in volcanos.

I have this sinking suspicion that the UAE sheiks have found a way to revive Blofeld and place him in a new volcano lair somewhere near Tonga. I think that the renewable solar power plant will be a cover for the new Blofeld and his nefarious activities. If Blofeld is allowed to be revived the world would be in serious trouble. MI-6's most famous agent James Bond is MIA because of MGM's financial troubles. See how the global financial meltdown is still doing us harm!! Blofeld will be able to control the seas from his volcanic lair with impunity. With UAE knowhow he will create island after island that will eventually swallow up the Pacific Ocean. Enjoy your renewable power now Tonga, because you'll soon have to face the wrath of Blofeld and his minions. Unless MGM can get its finances in order, there will be no nearly naked and unfairly svelte and yet incredibly rugged Daniel Craig to save you...

If you want to be happy, move to Fiji

In Fiji there has been a report that has shown that Fiji is the happiest nation in the world. Of course this comes from a Fiji based website an it could be construed as propaganda. Also the study shows that Nigeria came in second. Considering all of the protesting in Nigeria recently over the loss of their oil subsidy, the criteria of this scientific poll might be able to be called into question.

Another issue with the scientific nature of this poll might be the lack of questioning of Fiji's most famous golfer, Vijay Singh. Singh is not among the 89% that are happy at this moment. He's the exact opposite of happy and taking it out on Rory Sabbatini's caddy. Granted the caddy walked over Singh's putt line, but still, man he was mean. It could have been worse; it could have been Annika Sörenstam stomping all over the green before the putt. Then Singh would have unleashed some cursing that involved sexism as well as berating a person whose profession is basically akin to being a golfer's butler.

Overweight and obese travelers might have to pay more to fly

According to an Australian travel site where people can post on travel issues response has been mixed to Tony Webber, a former Qantas Air and his statement that overweight people should pay extra for the cost of their seats. Thirty percent of the people responding were in favor of bigger charges while sixty percent thought it to be unreasonable. Those who found it reasonable argued that at the moment overweight people not being charged more is actually discrimination against thinner people. Their rationale is that the weight they carry is significantly less stress on the fuel usage than a heavy set bloke and they still pay for the same cost. On the other side, those against it claimed that this would never work because of anti-discrimination laws. A 2000 study showed that there were 7,000,000 people overweight in Australia, corresponding to 36% of the population. So, it isn't just people that are overweight that are against this measure.

However, flights between Samoa and American Samoa already have implemented this policy. When you fly between Samoa and American Samoa passengers have to step on the scales. It seems to work well for this area.

It made me think of this restaurant I used to frequent when I was on holiday in Myrtle Beach, SC. This was before they turned the whole city into a golf resort and it had some character in it. Back in the days of the Pavilion and Peaches Corner foot-long hot dogs and Skee ball for miles. Thankfully the capitalist bourgeois did not have the audacity to tear down Peaches Corner when they ripped the heart out of the city. But I digress. It worked well for the restaurant back then and I don't see why it couldn't work now. But, it might be a bit unfair considering even someone weight in at over 500 lbs. would still only be .056% of the takeoff weight.

Aftershocks for decades

Christchurch, New Zealand was struck by a horrific and strong quake on February 22, 2011. Then there was a big aftershock on June 13, 2011. Then there was more aftershocks on December 23, 2011. Incredibly scientists believe that aftershocks could last for decades longer.

The initial quake caused 183 deaths and damages over $15 billion. The subsequent aftershocks, including the most powerful one at 6.0 on December 23 have thankfully not caused any deaths but it has done substantial damage to the city and surrounding area. But, it has also done significant psychological damage to many of the city's residents. Imagine living in fear of the big one coming again. And all of these minor tremors must spark the fear as soon as they begin to ripple the earth.

What keeps me up at night

Last night I was struggling to get that restful slumber needed to think clearly. Why was I tossing and turning rather than dreaming of sweet knowledge, that mistress so fair? I was thinking to myself, what is going on in the Federated States of Micronesia? Tis such a curse sometimes to have such a prodigious mind as mine! I'm serious... Maybe not the prodigious mind part, but the loss of sleep over my thoughts of the Federated States of Micronesia is truth!

Recently, Dengue fever has been an issue. Yap, a northern state in Micronesia has over 900 confirmed cases. Medical teams are working to solve that problem, but the big news is the Pacific Asia Travel Association is having its triannual meeting in Palau (an independent country with close links to the Federated States of Micronesia). Interestingly, in spite of the many differences between western cultures, eastern cultures and oceanic cultures, the bureaucracy knows no cultural distinction. This is a summary of the PATA Micronesia meeting.

1. Arguing over how to fund brochure printing

2. Formation of a committee to educate

3. Formation of a committee to decide what the Education Committee should educate the members on.

4. A training session on restaurant ettiqutte for the board members at a swanky brunch

5. A presentation of initiatives for 2012

6. Formation of committees to vote on the initiatives

7. A presentation on Micronesian cruise, board members receive free swag and cruise perks

8. Committee formed to discuss how to end the meeting

9. Having accomplished nothing the board members agreed to meet again in March 2012 to assess how the committees have come along with the objectives that they weren't actually given

The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is its inefficiency. - Eugene J. McCarthy

The Swami Army bringin the Bollywood

Australia has just handed India its 6th straight defeat in cricket today. The Swami Army cannot be happy about this.

So most of the readers are going to say, hang on a minute, what's cricket. It's a game with a ball and some wickets that is played by gentlemen at often stodgy settings. Then they'll say, "Leibniz you're being condescending if you think we don't know what cricket is". Of course you do.

The Swami Army however are looking to shake up the high brow affair down under. They're bringin the Bollywood to cricket. A bunch of Australian born Indians have grouped to gether to bring a little local flavor to their favorite bowlers.

It's fun to see Bollywood where ever and whenever. But it's more fun when you see it at places you wouldn't normally associate with bright colors and impromptu singing. It got us thinking, where would we like to see Bollywood make an unannounced visit to?

I think a Bollywood musical number would do wonders for the Senate hearings. One can only hope all that love would seep out into the senators themselves.

I think a Bollywood dance would spice up the emergency room lobby and heal some people even before they get to the doctor.

Who wouldn't love to see Guru Dutt standing behind the counter at the DMV?