Ronaldinho can't catch his breath

Ronaldinho and his Flamengo were defeated by a score of 2-1 by Bolivia's Real Potosí.

Flamengo is one of the storied franchises of Brazil. The day that it was founded is celebrated as a National Holiday. In 1981, they shut out the mighty Liverpool 3-0 to become World Champions on the back of play by the incredible Raul Plassman, Leandro, Carlos Mozer, Jorge Luís Andrade, and one of the greats, Zico. It was in that same year that they won their one and only Copa Libertadores (the top international South American tournament). But in 2012's rendition they lost a humiliating first game against lowly Real Potosí.

Real Potosí had one key advantage over Flamengo, one of the greatest home field advantages in sports. Real Potosí plays in the Estadio Víctor Agustín Ugarte. While 32,000 screaming fans would be enough to intimidate any of the Brazilian greats, its location at 3,960 meters above sea level makes it the penultimate castle upon the hill. Flamengo trained for a week at the high altitude, but it was to no avail.

Real Potosí can and should celebrate this victory as it was a true David and Goliath affair. But Flamengo gets them back home in Rio de Janiero to finish the tie. Unless Real Potosí can conjur up some incredible magic, it is likely that they will return home only with their moral victory.

Botswana amateurs holding their own against the pros

The African Cup of Nations is full of stars.

Gabon has five players that play in the top league of French Football, Ligue 1.

Mali has a player in the top flight in Greece, one in Germany and 8 in Ligue 1 of France.

Guinea has a player in the top leagues in Turkey, Switzerland, Belgium and Spain with two in Germany's Bundesliga and two in Ligue 1.

Morocco has a player in Germany and in the Scottish league. Two in Turkey, Italy, Russia and England including Marouane Chamakh who plays for Arsenal. It also has four players in the top French league.

Senegal has 9 players plying their trade in the top French clubs, 4 in England including the goal scoring machine for Newcastle United, Demba Ba. It also has two who play in Turkey and 1 in Spain and Denmark.

Burkina Faso has one a piece in Russia, England and Turkey respectively and five who play in France.

Côte d'Ivoire is stacked with one a piece in Belgium and the Netherlands, two in Russia and Germany. It has three players in the Turkish top league and five players in Ligue 1. It has an incredible six players in England including Yaya Touré, Salomon Kalou, Gervinho and is captained by Didier Drogba.

Ghana has five who play in France and three who play in Italy. It also has one a piece in Belgium, Germany, the Netherlands, England and Turkey.

Tunisia has two a piece in Turkey and Switzerland, three in Germany and four that play in France.

Zambia has a player in the top Swiss league. Niger has one in the French Ligue 1.

Neither Libya nor Sudan have players in Europe.

But, Botswana has sixteen amateurs on their squad. In spite of this they played a match against Ghana that could have easily been 1-1, but was a valiant effort in 1-0 loss. Botswana is still poised to make some noise and win won for the little guys. In a tournament that has already seen Equatorial Guinea into the final eight, this is not out of the realm of possibilities.

Equatorial Guinea through Round 1, No Equatorial Guineans playing

Equatorial Guinea defeated Senegal 2-1 yesterday. Kily Álvarez smashed the goal that Senegal back home and advanced "The National Lightning" through to the final eight. Equatorial Guinea's Brazilian coach Gilson Paulo was delighted with the win. The team is however made up in its near entirety of people born outside of Equatorial Guinea.

Of the three Keepers, one was born in Brazil, one in Cameroon, but the reserve keeper, Felipe Ovono was born in Equatorial Guinea.

The defense has four Spaniards, including the aforementioned Kily, an Ivorian, a Liberian and José Bokung, born and bred Equatoguinean - He didn't dress for the win over Senegal.

In the midfield there is a Nigerian, a treble of Cameroonian players, a Colombian, an Ivorian and a Spanish co-captain.

Up front there are five Spaniards, including the captain and another Cameroonian.

Obviously the 10 Spaniards would have a rough go at getting into the Spanish 1st team. We aren't quite sure how the Colombian ended up in the mix other that Spanish is spoken in both nations. But the other country's players couldn't make it into their home side. They're now getting to show the countries of Côte d'Ivoire, Liberia, Cameroon and Nigeria what they missed out on as Equatorial Guinea goes on. Only Côte d'Ivoire who is in the mix has a chance to show they made the right decision.

So why does everyone want to come play for Equatorial Guinea? Other than the chance to play international football, the President Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo loves his football. He paid the national team over $1,000,000 when they defeated Libya. The question now is, how much he will pay them now that they have advanced?

Liverpool through to the Carling Cup Final

We'll expose ourselves as a fan of Liverpool. We jumped for joy when Craig Bellamy hit the decisive goal at 74 minutes to oust Manchester City in the Carling Cup. We get it, it's only the Carling Cup. But, it's a cup and it means Liverpool are at Wembley. Sixteen years since Wembley. It has been a long and painful sixteen years.

Manchester United has since become the dominant force in English football in the sixteen year absence. Sir Alex Ferguson has completely redrawn the map of English football. We have hurt with every Liverpool loss and burned with every Manchester United victory. But now, we have a chance at a simple redemption. Victory at Wembley will not make it all better, but it will help to soothe our rage.

We'll admit it. Craig Bellamy is on our Fifa Squad for Wycombe Wanderers. (We like to start in League 2 and work our way up). However, our best goal scorer is Raul Meireles. We were saddened by his departure. But, our favorite is the Dutchmen Dirk Kuyt. His work ethic is unquestionably the greatest we have on the squad and if or rather when King Kenny sells him we will mourn as if we lost a close relative. We shan't forget though. But, for now, we shall bask in the victory over the endless and bottomless wallet that is Manchester City and pray for a victory at Wembley.

An Obligatory post on the State of the Union

At one point in his speech President Obama said, “Most Americans are thinking the same thing right now: Nothing will get done this year.” One thing that certainly shall not come to pass this year is President Obama's sweeping tax reforms.

President Obama kept harping on fairness and greater income equality. This was largely rebuffed by Republicans as wealth redistribution. Regardless of the merits of the arguments or counter arguments it points to the fact that the American government is still deeply divided over taxes. Considering that America was largely founded because of not wanting to pay taxes this should hardly be surprising.

Let's face the facts. Nobody likes to pay taxes. When tax season comes around it is generally a depressing time. More so for those who make the most money because they have to pay the most. We aren't talking about percentages here. 10% of of $25,000 is $2500 and a burden to those who make so little. But 10% of $2,500,000 amounts to people having to write a check for $250,000 dollars and regardless of how much you make that hurts to write. We know. We've seen pictures on Flickr.

Given this revelation that we've just dropped on you, we figure we ought to look at what $250,000 dollars could buy if it weren't wasted in paying taxes to a government that will argue over how to spend it to the point that the money will inevitably end up as salary for some bureaucrat somewhere, probably in China. I learned that from Glenn Beck's monumental work entitled Scare Tactics 101.

$250,000 can buy you the steering wheel and gearshift of a Bugatti Veyron.

$250,000 could buy you an experience in which you give out hundred pound notes to the homeless in Manchester with Mario Balotelli. In other Italian news it could buy you twenty minutes at one of Silvio Berlusconi's parties.

$250,000 could buy you 25 or more houses in Detroit, though the property taxes would be prohibitive.

$250,000 could buy you one thousand shares (give or take) of National Bank of Greece. If Europe can satisfactorily avoid a Greek default this investment could make you a millionaire many times over. If not, you could use the shares as wallpaper for your 25 Detroit houses.

$250,000 could be spent in record time by Terrell Owens. It would make your head spin to see him rifle through the cash.

If you and 19 of your friends got together you could bet against Birdman's $5,000,000 bet on the Patriots to win the Superbowl. My gosh that is a gambling problem....

Or, if you are like me, you could purchase 125,000 copies of the Kindle version of the Monadology by your philosopher of note.

It seems as though we must wear the hair shirt tonight....

Burundi snubs Lionel Messi

Lionel Messi has won the Fifa Ballon d'Or (top footballer of the year) with nearly 50% of the vote. But, unlike most democratic institutions, the voting for the Fifa Ballon d'Or is not a secret ballot initiative. Messi being crowned was not a surprise. Neither were the second and third place finishers, Cristiano Ronaldo and Xavi, respectively. But, because of the lack of a secret vote, seeing who voted for who can make for some interesting reading.

Guy George, the captain of the Saint Lucia national team voted Lionel Messi as the number 1. He left number 2 and number 3 blank leaving us to assume that he did not care about anyone else. Subsequently, Guy George was left off of Cristiano Ronaldo's birthday party invite because of the snub.

Burundi however was the odd man out. Voters from Burundi did not include Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo or Xavi in their votes, instead opting for Karim Benzema as the world's greatest footballer. Since Burundi has neither strong ties to Benzema, France, Spain or Messi's Argentina the vote was somewhat of a surprise. Burundi was a former colony of Germany. After World War I it passed to the control of Belgium. While Burundi speaks French as a main language this seems to be the only ties to Benzema that the nation has. The only explanation is that Legos are outlawed in Burundi and since everyone knows Messi's obsession with legos, this can be the only possible explanation for Burundi's snub.

Throw the full weight behind it Mr President!

In a speech recently President Obama has called for American businesses to bring home jobs from overseas to aid the American public. He has called, not for an end of outsourcing, but rather an end to the tax breaks that companies get for outsourcing jobs. This is a type of protectionism that should not be done. Make the tax code simpler. But, targeting multinationals for being multinational will hurt American business in general and by proxy, the American workers that President Obama is looking to help. However, the Obama administration has pushed through some good ideas on the revitalization of the American job market that the government should continue forward with, regardless of who is at the helm come January 2013.

For years many countries around the world have had national agendas to bring jobs to their countries. It has worked tremendously. For all the talk about ideas whose time has come that the 99% and Occupy movements keep chanting about the idea of Globalization has come and is entrenched now to the point that there is no real utility in arguing against it. But, as other countries have created effective national plans to draw companies to them, the US government has deferred this power to the State level. Monster economies like California, Texas and New York probably have the firepower to compete with emerging markets like Brazil, India and some of the African growth nations. But how does Delaware fare in a battle against Russia for an information software company? If the Russian government can offer its whole commitment to a company, the company would be foolish to take the scant resources that Delaware might be able to offer it. By no means however is this to be skewed as some sort of besmirchment of The Small Wonder, only a realization that the playing field is not level. But, when a federal American government is able to push forth a bid against Russia (and the bids are not judged by Sepp Blatter and his cronies) the fight is fairer.

One thing I would say about this modus operandi. The American federal government must actively pursue the interests of the American people as a whole. Pushing for one state is not the best way forward. The American government should pursue the multinational corporations in a way that makes the most sense. If a company were to need a large place with access to fresh water the American government should not be offering major tax incentives to the company to open a plant in the Mojave Desert. It should work with states to get them the best fit of companies. Then people can move to where the jobs that best suits their talents exist. One of the things that has made America the great nation that it is, is the mobility of its people. Today people look to live in areas where they get the most amenities or entertainment that suits them, rather than searching for the jobs that best suit their talents. Of course this mobility has been made more difficult by the astronomical cost of owning a home, but that is an entirely different topic.

I am not a man, I am Cantona, President Cantona

Eric Cantona once said, "I am searching for abstract ways of expressing reality, abstract forms that will enlighten my own mystery." Well, he has found a way of enlightening the mystery. Today, the former footballer for the French National Team and Manchester United has announced that he is going to run for president of France in 2012. His decision to run is so that he can promote and highlight the French housing crisis. However this could be the perfect storm and Cantona could become the leader of France.

First of all, there is all kinds of craziness going on in Europe. There is the banking crisis. There is questions of whether the Euro can last. Then there are no religions popping up based on copying and pasting. The craziness continues even in France with a lawsuit brought for compensation in the Michael Jackson wrongful death. Plus the French are starting to really hate the current President Nicolas Sarkozy more than they hate Americans not named Cole Porter. And the serious alternative to Sarkozy from the socialists Dominique Strauss-Kahn was knocked out of the race by a sex scandal in New York leaving the French with the alternative of electing this femme fatale. France is ripe for a President Eric Cantona and we for one, could not be happier.

This begs the question of what Eric Cantona would be like as the leader of France. Besides his support of the Corsican freedom fighters he has a bevy of social causes that are near and dear to his heart. His movement against the banks was a failure as a civilian but as a President these words might not ring so hollow. "The revolution is really easy to do these days. What's the system? The system is built on the power of the banks. So it must be destroyed through the banks. A real revolution". So Cantona would pull all the power from the banks and assumably give any power that he doesn't keep to himself to the poor and working classes of France.

We for one will be voting in absentia for Mr. Cantona, mainly because we would have endless supply of material to work with. Exhibit A is his reflection on his truly remarkable football career when he said, presumably without a single prompt, "my best moment? I have a lot of good moments but the one I prefer is when I kicked the hooligan." However, we would also vote for him out of fear of being the second known recipient of that merciless kick. If you have never seen it, even if you hate soccer, you must click here to witness something that makes the basketball player formerly known as Ron Artest's soiree in the Malice at the Palace seem like the most sanguine of events.

We shall leave you then with the immortal words of the hopefully immortal Cantona, "When the seagulls follow the trawler, it's because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea. Thank you very much". It has a very presidential ring to it no?

A Cameroonian living in Chechnya, naturally he plays for Burkina Faso

Namibia has a bone to pick with the African Cup of Nations. They were eliminated by Burkina Faso, losing to them twice, 4-0, 4-1, respectively. However, they think that they are the rightful winners of the group stage because Burkina Faso fielded a player that Namibia said shouldn't be playing for them. In fact the Confederation of African Football agrees with them, sort of.

Herve Xavier Zengue (Xavier) was born in Cameroon and currently plays for FC Terek Grozny in the Chechen Republic. According to FIFA rules a player must play in his country of birth or have a grandparent from the country that want to play in. Xavier does not have grandparents in Burkina Faso. Another way they can play is if they live in the country. Obviously, Chechnya is not Burkina Faso. But Xavier's wife is Burkinabé, which entitles him to citizenship.

These irregularities are not uncommon but the Confederation of African Football had agreed with Namibia that Xavier was ineligible way back in October of 2010. But, they said that the complaint filed by Namibia was no good because it didn't have a necessary signature. That's the bureaucracy we all know and love in football.

The 2012 African Cup of Nations kicks off January 21, 2012. It should be fun.

How Hanoi has made Sepp Blatter feel the pinch

The Vietnamese Football Federation (VFF) has just been crushed by its own nations club teams. For the past decade the VFF has been charged by nearly every football club and football fan as being corrupt. Match officials have been bought and sold. Relegations are often signs of honest clubs and promotions and championships are signs of well placed bribes. This has left football a mess in Vietnam. Finally the clubs have had enough of it and all 28 revolted. Seven teams left to form a new league. The VFF panicked and called an emergency meeting to get them to come back, offering to make small concessions. When the 28 clubs came to meet with the VFF all 28 owners demanded a change and got it. The monopoly of power the VFF holds is gone. So why is Sepp Blatter shuddering?

Vietnamese football operates in a political climate that is dominated by the ruling Communist party. Revolutions like this are unheard of in this country. But, the corruption was too much for everyone to handle. If 28 teams can stand up to this kind of oppression what's stopping some of the major European federations from finally walking out and forming their own, or teaming up with UEFA? It would be terrible for the game, but worse still for Blatter. Mr. Blatter would then be forced out of power, which might be good for the game. But, this may just be wishful thinking.

Jermaine Pennant and the ruination of automobile beauty

I'm not much for flashy cars. But, if a '37 Jaguar with oversized headlights were to happen to come into my possession I would not complain. But what I would not do is paint the whole stinkings thing chrome.

While it wasn't a '37 Jag, a footballer called Jermaine Pennant has done just that. Thanks to my pals over at the Dirty Tackle for the info. Loves you Brooks. Now most of my readers, 9 out of 9 to be precise have know idea who Jermaine Pennant is. Pennant is a winger that has played for Knotts County, Arsenal, Watford, Leeds United, Birmingham City, Liverpool, Portsmouth, Real Zaragoza and currently plies his trade at Stoke City. In other words he's a footballer. What? Ok fine. He's a soccer player. He's a descent player, but nothing all that grand with a penchant for off the field issues. Apparently this is because he loves attention. Behold, a $200,000 Aston Martin chromed out in a way that would make that would make Lil Wayne ask him to be a bit more modest.

Pelé, Pele and Neymar

So I'm still loving Fifa 2011. Can't get enough of it. I've set up a new target for myself: 1,282 goals in a career. That would be 1 more that Pelé. Thus, he would have to recognize me as the greatest virtual footballer in the world, ever.

On a side note, Pele without the accent is the Hawaiian goddess of fire, lightning, winds and volcanoes. Whenever a volcano erupts in Hawai'i it is said to be an expression of her longing for her lovers. But, Pele is a fickle and capricious lover as she sometimes kills her husbands. I'm sure Pelé would love to be recognized as a deity and sometimes when he speaks he spews deadly magma that swallows people whole. He's already burnt Neymar a few times with his longings, which by the way, explains the hair.

Hannover 96 and Chicken Tax

Hanover Line I-I

I have discovered that Hannover 96 are a much better squad than VfB Leipzig. Hannover 96 currently sit 7th in the Bundesliga and are already through the qualifying stages of the Europa League! They play Club Brugge of the Jupiler League on February 16, 2012. Let's go Die Roten! But again, I did not come to talk Football. I have come to begin my Hanover line of thinking.

Since the Saxony line began with art, I feel I must steer clear of that topic in the Hanover line. While the lines can think on the same thing, it would be improper to start both at the same thinking point. Why? I haven't the slightest of clues, but it seem silly to me to have two lines of thinking on the same topic. Do you disagree?

Traipsing in Leipzig seemed to be a wash so I didn't do the same in Hanover. Nor did I get over to the pub in time to hear such wonderful intellectual stimuli. So, I did what every pseudointellectual does these days, wikipedia and google. Google news is truly and archivist's dream. When I clicked on the news for Hannover, Germany I found articles reading "Yanks moving on Hannover" (April 10, 1945), "Scarlett O'Hara flies from New Orleans to Hannover, West Germany (April 23, 1962) and "Hannover Re expects big loss from oil rig mishap in Gulf" (April 28, 2010) in random order. However, I must conclude that the news happens a lot in April in Hannover and not much the other eleven months based on my two minute scientific inquiry.

I then realized that the Transporter T5 was produced by the Volkswagen factory in Hannover. That seems a perfect place to start the Hanover line of thinking. (I'm sorry but I will interchange Hannover and Hanover throughout my thought processes for no particular reason). The T5 is a neat little auto, and the Volkswagen California Beach (a type of T5) is really cool looking. It could be a spaceship if a rocket were added to it. But, alas, when I went to buy one for my time in the States I found I could not on account of the chicken tax.

The chicken tax was a cold-war era tax stemming from the little known, but very dangerous cold war phenomena known as the "Chicken War". The tax still exists on vehicles classified as light trucks. The Volkswagen California is a light truck and thus would incur a 25% tax immediately upon entry to the states. In layman's terms this means no Volkswagen California for reincarnated Leibniz.

But, as I studied this tax I found that it could be circumvented (as all taxes can be these days). Ford, ostensibly a company the US government designed the tax to protect, actually builds the Ford Transit Connect in Turkey and then imports it to the United States, where it then cuts pieces off of the light truck in Baltimore to get around the dreaded chicken tax. Ironic. Unfortunately, I found that there were no such plans for chopping the California in some seedy Baltimore back alley, reiterating the fact that their will be no Leibnizian California Dreamin' anytime soon.

Join me next time when we move from Chicken Tax to some other form of Tax, Tax loopholes, or Irony in the Hannover line of thinking. Whatever the topic will be, it will be optimistic as we eliminate pessimism from among us.

Leipzig Football and Blurry Art

Saxony Line I-I

I was traipsing around my old home in Leipzig this afternoon looking for something to get me started when I stumbled upon the football scene. I was dismayed to find the FC Lokomotive Leipzig, or VfB Leipzig if you will, plays in the 5th tier of the German football league system. We are far removed from our 7-2 thrashing of DFC Prag to claim the Viktoria Meisterschaftstrophaee!!! But, nonetheless here is FC Lokomotive now.

But, I am not here to talk football. That will come in due time. I was looking for a starting point for my Saxony line of thinking. Traipsing around and galavanting through the streets of Leipzig proved fruitless and attracted too much attention with my incredible flowing locks so I took to a more quiet and reserved place and checked on the news at a local pub. I listened for awhile as men and women gabbed over things when I happened upon a conversation that caught my attention.

I overheard a few men discussing whether or not Dresden's own Gerhard Richter was truly the world's greatest artist. I enjoy art so I took a look at some of Richter's work. I began to question my eyesight because of his "blur" technique. How was I supposed to know that his blurring was intentional. I said to myself, "self, you must get some glasses because this beautiful artwork is blurry". Apparently though, I had not said this to myself because a feisty little tween, who ironically looked like an unblurred version of the painting, informed me that it was intentional. "The blur", she said "was done in order to nullify the subject in order to make it difficult to understand. The painting of the photograph intensifies the plastic nature of painting". With that she walked away.

I was left feeling a little bit nullified myself. I began to feel a bit grumpy at the pretentiousness of the little girl and my complete and utter lack of understanding of this art. But, then I began to become a bit more cheery as I thought to myself, now I have two more subjects to look into, art and nullification. Ah, the study of beauty is such a rich and enjoyable subject when one has the leisure to perceive it!