At 8-8, another missed playoffs and general frustration with the consistent underperforming it was obvious that Norv Turner was toast at the end of the season. However, Chargers president Dean Spanos has retained the services of old Norv for at least another year. You simply just cannot kill Norv Turner leaving us with only a few scenarios.
First, Spanos can't fire Norv Turner because Norv has got something on him. Obviously Norv Turner has figured out that Spanos has gotten tied up with the resurgent Philadelphia Greek Mob. While the mob was big in the 1980's it has recently been pretty dormant. Extortion in Greece had been cornered by the government already, but new markets are opening up with all the money flooding into Greece. This may not be the most likely scenario, but it is still possible.
Second, Norv Turner can't be terminated because he has already been fired and simply refuses to go. Maybe Dean Spanos called Norv into the office last week and said you're fired. Norv the replied with, "ok, but I'm not leaving". What could Dean have done then? The shock of being told that his firing of Norv was a failure and caused Dean to announce the exact opposite that Norv would be sticking around for at least another year. This is more likely than the Philadelphia Greek Mob connection.
Third and most probably, Norv Turner can't be killed because he's already undead. Norv is a zombie hell bent on mediocrity. He lays in waiting for the first few weeks of the season allowing himself to be battered into a cognitively gelatinous state and then feasts on flesh in December and January. This scary scenario makes the most sense. You heard it here first. Norv Turner is a zombie.
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