Orange County Hipsters

We all know that the Mecca of Hipsterdom is Brooklyn, New York, with the Hipster Ka'aba being located in Williamsburg. We also know that the Hipster Medina is Portland, Oregon. Seattle is Hipsterdom's Jerusalem. Seattle is the Jerusalem of this mix because it shares its holy status with two other groups The Frasier Religion, which is based on an unhealthy devotion to Kelsey Grammer and the dying religion of Grunge. But a crazy report is coming out today that Orange County might be the most hipster place of all.

The crowning of Orange County as Hipster central however focuses on one sole thing. The amount of fixies in the OC. For those of you who are not hipster or hipster curious a fixie is a bicycle that has no freewheel, meaning one can never coast on a fixie. Coasting is for cool people. Hipster hates cool. It is much more deck to effortlessly pedal an ironic looking bike. The real hipster of hipster rides a fixie with no breaks. That shows how much they don't care. They could die at any moment. It's hipster unto death.

But a hipster is more than someone who rides a fixie. A hipster is ironic without understanding the meaning of irony. This notion that facial hair can be ironic is anathema to true irony pioneers. The only thing that could be ironic about a mustache is if a person with a mustache was on his smoking break where smoking was illegal. There is also nothing ironic about PBR per se. The only thing ironic is that America's worst tasting beer is now America's most expensive beer because of the hipster appropriation of it. Soon it will be unaffordable to hipsters. Hipster running up the price on PBR to the point they can no longer afford it, now that is ironic.

The OC however could in fact become the Harar of Hipsterdom. Hipsters could move to the OC from Mecca (Williambsburg) because they have grown tired of the poor weather and because hipsters generally can't stand the sight of each other. Hipsters could travel south from Portland to seek refuge the upcoming Renaissance Tour of The Decemberists and Death Cab for Cutie. And it is conceivable that hipsters from Seattle could ride their fixies down to Big Sur and miss the exit because they were fiddling with their iPod and find comfort in the OC. So, while the article says that the OC is the biggest hipster hot spot, we estimate that it could never be anything more than the fourth holy city of Hipsterdom.