We all know about the struggle for control of earth being waged between Urban Outfitters and IKEA by now. If you don't here's a quick recap. Urban Outfitters is looking to carve out a little piece of territory in Eurasia by acclimating us to look at their maps. From there, they plan on making everyone into controllable hipsters. But IKEA has vowed to stop them. Why is this important? Because if IKEA doesn't stop them they will force us all through mind control to do things we would rather snark at. In this war we know that Quebec can be trusted but Owls cannot. Well, Urban Outfitters has suffered a number of setbacks recently. Their CEO has stepped down. We however are not so optimistic as that link in thinking that UO's best days are behind it.
But, IKEA has stepped up its war efforts in a fairly unique way. We know they built siege towers out of scrap wood when they went to cardboard pallets. Now, they are going green! Up to 85% of American IKEA's will be covered by Solar Power. While this is awesome for the environment it makes me nervous. Could UO come out with some Bond villainesque scheme of turning off the sun's rays sapping IKEA of its power? UO is capable of quite a lot of control. Sun control may not be far off. Hopefully the search for a new CEO will stop some of this juggernaut's speed in world domination long enough for IKEA to get a kill shot.
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