Hanover Line I-IVIt appears that Norris Cole has cut his House Partyesque hair, thus ruining my hopes for a renaissance of Kid N' Play records. I'll simply devote a few hours tomorrow to my corner shrine.
On the topic of parties, it appears as though the GOP has lost Donald Trump, who has reregistered as an independent. In other and totally unrelated news, the GOP has gained much of the credibility they had lost over Boehner's miscalculation on the House Republicans payroll tax showdown.
Still concerning parties, there has been a rash of ugly sweater and turtleneck parties in recent Christmas seasons. For any Beltway insiders, there is one in your neck of the woods going on right now until 11 PM. I have to admit I'm all for sarcasm, satire and lowbrow jokes. I'm even for ruthless mockery and self-deprication, a staple of these parties. However, I find these Ugly Christmas Sweater parties to be nothing more than an excuse for hipsters to commingle with people who secretly want to be hipsters. It is this commingling that has me worried about the growing power of Urban Outfitters, Inc.
Urban Outfitters may model itself as a hipster/hipster-curious hot spot for fashion, accessories and entertainment, but what they sell with their wares are ideals and controls. Ideals that state that not only is it ok to be countercultural, that to be noncountercultural is in fact, countercultural. This anthropogenesis of the androgynous authenticating abstraction is absurd and arid. In other words, a hipster can be laughed at and generally ignored because while he may claim some vox-pop, hipsters generally can't stand being in large groups for long enough to create any lasting idea or movement. Hence, the control.
If this was all UO was doing successfully than we could simply ignore them. However, what UO is doing is as sinister as it is ingenious. By creating generations upon generations of hipsters, UO will render the willpower of men and women to be so weak that these wolves in sheepskin can finally come out and devour all of us with their vapid and vicious soul-crushing consumerism. They've already started to acculturate us to the idea of them redrawing the map in a "personalized" way (see picture). Pretty soon we'll simply defer to UO for real map redistricting since they'll promise to make sure to evenly spread out the butterflies amongst us.
Capitalism 3 - Art 1.
On a more optimistic note, Merry Christmas.
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