The succession of Kim Jong-Il at Georgio's Oven Fresh on East 55th street in Cleveland, OH

Hanover Line I-VI

Last time on the glorious Hanover line of thought we spoke of suburbanite indoctrination by evil corporate geniuses at Urban Outfitters. Moving from the glacial pace of UO's propagandism towards a high-speed one, we move from Philadelphia headquarters to Pyongyang. Recently, Kim Jong-il, the supreme leader of North Korea passed away. While he is still being mourned in North Korea and other places like Tehran, Mogadishu, and Scovill Avenue in Cleveland, OH, the rest of the world now focuses on Kim Jong-un, the Great Successor in North Korea and his impending control of the country. On a side note, while Scovill Ave may be the second most dangerous neighborhood in America according to these guys, I must say the risk is well rewarded when ingurgitating some subs at Georgio's around the corner on East 55th street (as Kim Jong-un has been wont to do). But, moving back to our topic...

At this time of great peril, I think that we ought to look at some succession scenarios for the young lad Kim Jong-un. In random order I give you some succession scenarios:

The Elagabulus scenario: Kim Jong-un could come to power and follow Elagabulus' order of business. He could replace the religion of North Korea and become its high priest whilst hosting dinner parties using whoopee cushions for entertainment purposes. When that proves to be futile he can declare a popular figure to be dead to gauge reaction from the masses and the generals. Sadly for Elagabulus this ended in his and his mother's death at the hands of the Praetorian Guard.

The Charles VII route: Kim Jong-un, a leader of a divided Korea looks fairly similar. Charles VII did not have control over much of France at the beginning of his reign and controlled neither Paris, the capital, nor Reims, where the kings of his family were crowned. Later in his reign he lost control of his empire to his son, which eventually caused him to grow mad. He died lonely in his death bed while his reign was overshadowed by a woman.

The Emperor Modi line: Kim Jong-un, whose kingdom is suspiciously close to the descendants of the Mongols could opt for this route, though he already has about a half a week on old Modi. Modi, the last of the Jin dynasty was crowned during the Mongol attack, but was killed 20 minutes later.

The Sayid Khalid bin Barghash of Zanzibar route: Kim Jong-un could spark a 38 minute war with an international superpower and be deposed, resulting in a life on the lam only to return home to die peacefully.

All of these options are open to Kim Jong-un, or he could be like his father and be a parasitic vulture and continue to cripple millions of North Korea. His choice.