Don't taze me bro.

Hanover Line I-VIII

Last time on the Hanover line we discussed a naked runner being stunned in Cincinnati, OH. As painfully fun as that was I decided that more research was needed on the stunning of people with electricity to create safety for the public.

First, I looked into how to acquire a stun gun to see how easy it was. Thanks to the ease the Internet offers us I was able to type "stun gun" into eBay and find over 3500 offerings ranging from $1 - $825. At this discount 100% of the 99% can afford it, making the streets incredibly safer for us all.

Second, I looked into the usage of stun guns by police offers. There was always an uproar over their usage. In one a man who had led the police on a forty-five minute high speed chase was zapped when he refused to comply with police after they had stopped him and lunged at the police officer. He is now suing the city police force for excessive force and emotional trauma. Never mind that he was just convicted for his fifth DUI offense in eight years. He'll probably win the case. Another instance that just happened where a man doped up on bath salts was squeezing his six month year old son to the point of the child screaming in fear and pain. It took six shots to bring the man down after he endangered his son's life. I smell blood in the water, call me for representation.

Third, I found a story where two men who had purchased stun guns legally used them to rob two restaurants. I'm feeling safer already. They're lucky they didn't try to stick up a zombie restaurant!