Zombie Restaurants

The restaurant business has hit quite a slump recently. Before the recession people ate out or ordered takeout an average of 208 times. Now, they average only 195 times a year. On an unrelated note, obesity is still a large scale problem in the United States.

However egregious eating out 208 times or even 195 times a year is, it does mark a significant shift in consumer behavior and thus a major dip into restauranteurs' pocketbooks. Chains like Chevy's, Sbarro, Perkins and a personal favorite, Friendly's have filed chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. But these undead joints are now being referred to zombie restaurants because they simply will not die. And while they refuse to die they continue to eat the flesh of non-franchise, non-chain mid priced restaurants. These zombies are literally devouring the competition.

As scary as this may be for aspiring restauranteurs, the term zombie restaurant sent my heart into defibrillation. I imagined something akin to a Big Boys where your waiter looks like exhibit x (above) hoping to serve you a Turkey Club Melt with some sort of garnish that renders you paralyzed so that you could be eaten alive. It's enough to make me weep like a little boy who has had his schnitzel stolen by some bullies.

Beware of zombie restaurants and support your local diner. Whatever you do don't go to Bennigan's. Bennigan's was totally dead and now they're on their way back. These guys are even more dangerous than zombies. They're freaking vampires.