A rose by any other name...

Greece has spent countless watts of energy on obstructing their northern neighbors Macedonia on account of Greek fears that Macedonia has designs on the Greek region called Macedonia. To be fair, many Macedonian nationalists operating on the idea of an United Macedonia may have those designs. But, since Macedonia began in 1991 on account of the break-up of Yugoslavia the Greeks have protested Macedonia in all sorts of international events. In 2008 Greece blocked a NATO invitation to their neighbors even though Macedonia had applied under the name that Greeks prefer, Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia. FYROM has such an easy time rolling off one's tongue, no? Macedonia cried foul on this action and took their case up to The Hague. The Hague for their part told Greece it wasn't playing fair in a December decision. However, The Hague failed to do anything further to prevent Greece from playing unfairly again. Basically, The Hague pretended to be a dad that didn't really want to hear how the older brother had cheated at Monopoly and told the older brother to play nice. The older brother feeling scolded, went back to the Monopoly game thinking of better cheating strategies knowing that Dad couldn't be bothered while Den Haag was on TV. Score one meaningless victory for Macedonia.

The silencing power of the census

Immigration has been and will continue to be an issue in the US for years to come. That anyone would want to emigrate to a country should be a point of pride for that country's citizens. However, this is often not the case. Many citizens look down on the immigrant, especially if he is of a minority culture. Thus an unrelenting cycle of distrust is born. The citizen dislikes the immigrant because he is different. The immigrant distrusts the citizen because of his rhetoric. The immigrant enclaves with immigrants of his own culture. The citizens look down on the enclave because of their refusal to assimilate. The government steps in to do either one of two things. Either they promote multi-culturalism, enraging the nativist citizen; or, they look to create an homogenous society at the expense of the minority enclaves, earning them praise from the nativists and scorn from other governments, foreign media outlets and the all powerful Internet chatter.

But, the US is not alone in facing this difficult reality of the modern age. And for all of its faults, the US has proved themselves enviable in assimilation throughout the past few hundred years. Challenges will continue to arise in the 21st century as technology will allow people to exist in two cultures simultaneously and as more and more immigrants come from countries that bear a different skin tone than the majority of Americans. But, when considering America's responses towards immigration hitherto, the country has not devolved from its values so far as to mirror other countries.

Albania has taken the track of creating the appearance of an homogenous society at the expense of its minority citizens. First, allow me to explain that the desire to create a homogenous society is neither wrong nor undesirable. The fabric of a nation needs to be seamlessly integrated for it to grow. However, assimilation can come through the melting of ethnic groups to better reflect the actual populous of the country. Also the methodology involved in getting minority citizens and immigrants to be less insular needs to come from incentive-based strategies rather than bludgeoning or silencing ones. Albania, located in the culturally diverse Balkans has decided to use the census as a way of creating a cultural hegemony.

The most recent Albanian census has removed the category of nationality from the questionnaire to the chagrin of the minority Macedonian, Greek, Serb, Montenegrin, Vlach, Roma and Egyptian populations. This is especially contentious in the Mala Prespa region of Albania (eastern edge on the border of Macedonia). A large number of Macedonians live in this region that has numerous times been claimed by Macedonian nationalists as a part of the United Macedonia concept. If the nationalistic tensions weren't enough to light the tinderbox region of the Balkans, the Macedonians are Christian Orthodox in a Muslim country. The minority leaders in Albania are looking to take the Albanian government to the European Court of Human Rights in Strasbourg on the matter. But, as in all Balkan stories, the specter of a Gavrilo Princip type figure looms large. Word of advice, if you are an archduke do not travel anywhere near Albania until this census matter has long been settled.

Mandatory comment on Tebow

As the year comes to an end I think it is compulsory for everyone to make some kind of comment on the phenomena that is Tim Tebow. I would rather resist this, as I think the compelling aspects of the story are being choked out because of the hype that swirls around him. He's done a very good job given the circumstances. As we come to the end of the year however I have found an interesting anecdote to the saga. Thanks to ThePostGame for the news.

The now famous Play Tebow billboard has continued to generate buzz, long after it had succeeded in what it wanted to do. The most interesting point that the story makes is about the fines. But, before we get to that I want to take a moment to criticize the religious controversy that the author looked to stir up. Apparently, the billboard was put up by three brothers who happen to be Muslim. Obviously, Tim Tebow is an outspoken born-again Christian. This non-story is simply just being churned out to generate more hype and negative publicity for the Christian aspect of Tim Tebow. I'm not for compartmentalizing one's life and if you are a born-again Christian, Tebow sets a good example by neither shoving his faith down the throats of others nor hiding his relationship with God. But, what makes this a compelling football story is the Tebow vs. Orton element.

Apparently the players on the Broncos began to fine Tebow when the billboard went up for not publicly denouncing it. Orton was among the players initiating the fine. When Tebow ended up starting over Orton it nullified the fine. Tebow has done well enough to put his team in a playoff race. Orton was then released to be picked up by the Chiefs. Now, the Broncos play the Chiefs in the final game of the season. If the Broncos win, they make the playoffs. If the Chiefs win, Orton collects a little bit of that fine he's owed.

IKEA continues to protect us from Hipsters and the UO Domination

Marsden Park, New South Wales is rejoicing this day as they look back on the year 2011. According to the Rouse Hill Times. The building of IKEA is the 19th top story of 2011 for this suburb of Sydney. This comes as good news to all of us who rely on IKEA to stop the growth of the evil empire. It is especially good news for the Aussies in this dangerous time.

Down under hipsterdom items like nonprescription eyeglasses, ironic sweaters, handlebar mustaches and greasy hair are trends that are growing in popularity at an alarming rate. Cut Copy have toured throughout Australia spreading the gospel of rehashed Depeche Mode soundscapes with a bit of monotoned depression. If you are in the vicinity of Gisborne, New Zealand they played a concert there yesterday (today still where I am in the world). Be on the look out for listlessly meandering teens and twenty-somethings in skinny jeans and flannels driving back to the garage apartments at their parent's suburban two-story, four bedroom houses. You'll notice them because on the way home they'll be trying to turn the Gisborne Botanical Gardens into the world's greatest lomography studio in the world.

But, I digress. Today bears good, optimistic news. Aussies and Kiwis need not fret over the hipsters because IKEA is valiantly work to curb the growing prowess of the evil empire and stymie hipsterdom where ever it rears its ugly head. Congratulations Marsden Park. Welcome to the revolution.

On another positive note, I was scanning the Internet for IKEA sightings when I came across a gem on Kijiji. A man was looking to unload some top notch IKEA swag near Barrie, Ontario. He posted that he was selling an IKEA couch for $75 Canadian dollars. He said that the economic, yet minimalist classic worthy of any good post-modern artist was located in Utopia. Of course it is. Of course it is.

Bennifer, 7 years on

Saxony Line I-IX

Last time on our journey through the mind of Saxony we gave a concise history of Carson, CA. During our investigation we discovered prancing ponies, defeated marines, Dr. Dre and the gift that continues to give long after its death, Bennifer. So I thought it might be a good opportunity to ask, where are Ben and Jen these days?

Ben is working on branching out in doing something he has never done before. He has an upcoming biopic about Whitey Bulger. For those of you unfamiliar with this character, Bulger was a Boston gangster responsible for murders, loan sharking, racketeering and a litany of RICO worthy offenses. Obviously this will be a step outside of Ben's comfort zone to play in a movie about Boston and crime. If that was stretching him enough he's teaming up with Matt Damon, someone he's never worked with before. The movie could be something completely new for us.

Meanwhile Jennifer is talking marriage with her new beau. Like Affleck, she is taking time to do something she's never done before, a whirlwind romance. It's incredible that her busy schedule, what with all those successful Fiat commercial endeavors she's been a part of recently, to find time to kindle romance. In a strange twist I have heard that their first dance will be Pitbull's song Rain Over Me, ironically featuring Marc Anthony.

Tizzy Time for Everyone.

Hanover Line I-IX

Last time we talked about the regular availability of all those stun guns to the public and police and the wondrous results that have followed accordingly. All this thought of electricity made me think of the Chevy Volt. After that passing moment I forced myself to think of it again. It led me to look at a number of electric cars and I found myself intrigued. I indulged my intellect for a short while and have gained some cursory knowledge and formulated some opinions I would like to share with you. After all, this is the Internet and sharing opinions, regardless of their merits is what we do.

First, we'll discuss the Chevy Volt. Recently the 2012 Chevy Volt's reputation has taken a hit. A Volt burst into flames at a graveyard owned by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. This sent all the naysayers to fly up into a tizzy. The problem with the initial reaction from the public is that the car's battery caught fire two weeks after the NHTSA had subjected it to its testing. And by testing I mean smashing it from every angle imaginable. So, if this was the real world the people who had been driving would have had to have been battered by a truck from the rear, a full-sized car on the passenger side, a semi on the front and a minivan on the driver's side. If they had survived this quadruple attack in the intersection from hell they would have had to have been left in the car for weeks to have been impacted from the potential fire.

In other Chevy Volt news, Mitt Romney is being criticized here at Forbes for slamming the Volt. Mr. Romney called the Volt, "an idea whose time has not come". This sent other people to fly into another tizzy. So there was tizzies to be had by electric car opponents and proponents. Don't worry neutrals you can have your tizzy in a second. Numerous people criticized Mr. Romney for criticizing an American idea made by Americans to get Americans off foreign oil. The Romney camp countered, saying that he was only commenting on the slow sales of the Volt. The thing I was initially most struck by though was the normally conservativish leaning Forbes hitting Mr. Romney pretty hard. However, upon further inspection I realized that the article had been written by a contributor from the Mother Nature Network. That made more sense.

Now for all of the Chevy Volt neutrals who were not sent into a tizzy by its explosive capabilities or by it being criticized I have found an article that can make everyone, or at least the 99% get all tizzified. The Fisker Karma is a luxury electric car that sells for over $100,000 dollars making it inaccessible to most individuals today. However, each of these cars is subsidized by the American government for $7500 dollars of tax payer money. Thus, all of us who pay American taxes are subsidizing a luxury car. If that wasn't bad enough the Fisker Karma is built in Finland. So much for reducing our dependency on other countries. I can hear your teeth grinding from here. But, if you are unconcerned over these things and think that it is a price worth paying to protect the environment, think again. The Karma uses rescued California wildfire wood in its interior. The species of bugs who thrive on that stuff are being exploited for the sake of luxury. Irresponsible capitalist pigs!

One step in the war against Urban Outfitters Je me souviens

IKEA has found a new ally, the province of Quebec. The province of Quebec refuses to accept shipments from Urban Outfitters. Je me souviens Quebec. Je me souviens.

An interview with Hugo Chavez

Leibniz: Mr. Chavez, I am very honored that you have accepted my request for an interview and am pleasantly surprised you've brought along your parrot.

Hugo: Thank you for having us.

Leibniz: Before we get into any policy questions, how are you feeling? Are you recovering from the cancer since your last treatments in Cuba?

Hugo: Yes, I am doing much better. Thank you for asking.

Leibniz: On the subject of medical treatment in Cuba...

Hugo: Wait, one second. Do you mind if I interrupt. I didn't think so. There has been a recent rash of cancer among us Latin American leaders. Have you noticed that? I mean there is me, Argentina's Cristina Fernandez, me, Paraguay's Fernando Lugo, me, Brazil's Dilma Rousseff, me, Lula da Silva and I have all come down with cancer. Don't you think that is weird? Abnormal, and slightly conspiratorial?

Leibniz: That does seem to be a pretty high cancer rate. Do you think that this has anything to do with...

Hugo: What do we all have in common? We are successful leftward progressives who have looked at the evil empire and smiled while flouting our defiance and taking aid. We have stood up to America and her minions. Don't you think that this is odd? A little atypical? Maybe a little like a cabal?

Leibniz: I think it is highly coincidental and there must be some...

Hugo: ...link between the cancer and something extraordinary? Something uncommon? Maybe a little bit of intrigue? Some contrivance, no?

Leibniz: I'm sorry Mr. Chavez but your allusions have left me a little bit lost.

Hugo: Firstly, I'm not accusing anyone, merely pondering aloud. So, do not get the wrong impression or I will shut your blog down like I've shut all the media down in my country.

Leibniz: I'm not sure I'm widely read in Venezuela as I publish in English.

Hugo: All the same, do not twist my words. I am merely building castles in the air. I do find it curious that all the of us socialist, care for the people not corporation type leaders, have come down with cancer. I mean America, for all of its faults is incredible at producing technology. Maybe they have created some technology that has injected us good fellows with the cancer. Fidel has been telling me I need to watch what I eat.

Leibniz: I'm sorry. Are you accusing America of infecting you and other Latin American heads of state with cancer?

Hugo: I make no such claim! How dare you insinuate such a thing! I am only constructing the air castles! Little towers. A drawbridge over a moat. All in the air. But, if you are tying those two things together you see my thoughts may not be far off...

The interview ended abruptly when armed guards came out of his air castle and stole my notes.

Jermaine Pennant and the ruination of automobile beauty

I'm not much for flashy cars. But, if a '37 Jaguar with oversized headlights were to happen to come into my possession I would not complain. But what I would not do is paint the whole stinkings thing chrome.

While it wasn't a '37 Jag, a footballer called Jermaine Pennant has done just that. Thanks to my pals over at the Dirty Tackle for the info. Loves you Brooks. Now most of my readers, 9 out of 9 to be precise have know idea who Jermaine Pennant is. Pennant is a winger that has played for Knotts County, Arsenal, Watford, Leeds United, Birmingham City, Liverpool, Portsmouth, Real Zaragoza and currently plies his trade at Stoke City. In other words he's a footballer. What? Ok fine. He's a soccer player. He's a descent player, but nothing all that grand with a penchant for off the field issues. Apparently this is because he loves attention. Behold, a $200,000 Aston Martin chromed out in a way that would make that would make Lil Wayne ask him to be a bit more modest.

The Tea Party Caucus - Michele Bachmann

The Tea Party Caucus is led by Michele Bachmann and has (as of March 31, 2011) 66 members to it, all Republicans. The Tea Party looks like it is here to stay. Though for awhile it looked like the comet Lovejoy flying towards the sun that is the anger spouting from every direction that makes up the enjoyable and pleasant current political milieu. But, fight fire with fire and you get bigger flames.

Enough of the bad analogies. I cannot promise to present a fair and balanced assessment of each of the members of the caucus for two reasons. First, that objectivity is trademarked by FOX News and I am afraid that if I try and copy it my phones will be tapped by Rupert and co. Second, that type of objectivity is not truly possible. Everyone has their own biases, even such optimistic fellows as myself. However, what I will promise is to give an honest assessment of the things that these members are doing from time to time, both their good points (which they have) and their shortcomings.

To begin with, I'd like to take a note of the caucus' head, Michele Bachmann. There is a virtual cacophony of Bachmann bashing out their on the web so I'll try and limit myself to a few quotes that have earned her some pretty scathing counterpoints.

1. First, let's focus on both the John Wayne Waterloo remark where she mixed John Wayne the actor and John Wayne Gacy, the serial killer and when she wished Happy Birthday to Elvis Presley on the anniversary of his death. While this shows poor oversight, who has not fallen prey to misreading something on Wikipedia? Those of you who have not throw the first stone.

2. The John Quincy Adams and the founding fathers working to end slavery. Ok, Q as we call him upstairs wasn't really a founding father, but he was around at the beginning of America and a member of one of the earliest political parties, the Federalists. You can tell her to represent history a little bit better on this one. It's bad, but not awful. The other part about the founding fathers working tirelessly to end slavery is hard to defend. I'm not going to do it. Lambasting can continue.

3. The attempt to link swine flu to Democratic presidencies. Wow. Not only was she factually incorrect this is just odd. Maybe she was trying to be funny?

4. When she spoke about the media needing to look at congress and ask if they were pro-American or anti-America she was reported as looking to install a neo-McCarthyism. At first blush this one seems pretty wrongheaded too. Nobody that wishes to build a stronger, more united America should hanker for the days of the Red Scare. However, this one could also be rephrased a bit to sound more intelligent and intellectually honest. If she sharpened her rhetoric skills she could pose it this way "the media ought to look at whether the current representatives are acting in a way that is consistent with the core, historical and foundational values of America". But, she is a busy woman and does not have the fifteen-twenty seconds that it took me to formulate that question.

5. When she equated the earthquakes and hurricanes that have recently struck in the US with God's wake up call she divided people quite well. Some shared her sentiments and were encouraged by her speaking, but most laid into her with some good reason. Tying God's wrath to congressional spending is wrongheaded on a number of levels. However, tying God's wrath to natural disasters is something many Scriptural literalists do all the time. Understanding how the Infinite mind works completely is an impossibility for finite ones and attempting to do so can sometimes do more harm than good. Because God acted one way at a specific time does not guarantee He will do so at others. This is illogical and it's probably bad theology. But, we can discuss theology later. However, for those who use this as a way to demean the simpleminded religious, your simplistic views on religion belie any critical thinking. An abstraction cannot be used to determine the whole, nor should one so easily cast aside 6,000 years of reasoned thought.

6. As to the abolishment of the minimum wage that she proposed, this is not an unique or new idea. There is a school of thought that minimum wage actually keeps wages down rather than lifting them up as they are thought to do. This has to do with market principle. While Bachmann delivered her now famous quote with the eloquence she is becoming known for, this idea certainly can be debated without resorting to calling Michele names.

7. Though I think I have been just in my assessment of what many are calling Mrs. Bachmann's biggest flops and have even, to an extent defended some of the ideas I think she was trying to iterate I have to end on a down note. When she mentioned both HPV vaccine and the effects of carbon dioxide she showed herself pandering to a specific crowd and was caught out in uninformed and ill-researched speech. She was trying to stir up her base on two unpopular topics for conservatives, vaccines for STD's for children and global warming. This gets all the conservatives hot under the collar and maybe not without merit, but you can't make things up Michele.

IKEA is doubling up in Ottawa

According to these guys up in Ottawa, 2012 is the year for getting taller. That is something to look forward to for all of the little people of the world, especially Ken Jeong. Hopefully, with his impending growth he won't end up stuffed naked in any trunks ready to pop out on the big screen causing a searing pain in my eyes. The same guys who predict that 2012 will be a year of surging growth in hight have also assessed the year 2011 from the prospective of Ottawans.

Among the good news was that IKEA opened a store in Ottawa. Even better news, a second IKEA will be opening up in Ottawa in 2012 and is estimated to be about the size of three airports. This will give IKEA a 2-1 advantage over the evil empire that is Urban Outfitters. However, in disheartening news they also predict an Occupy IKEA scenario that could allow hipsters controlled by Urban Outfitter's IBM machines to slow the resistance against their domination plans. We all pray that this is only a doomsday scenario that will never come to fruition.

Gerhard Richter, the man

The Leibnizian Ramblings has focused a lot of attention on Gerhard Richter since the birth of this blog. I think it is high time that we now really get to know the man.

So who is Gerhard Richter? Born in my old stomping grounds of Saxony in 1932 he spent his early days in and around Dresden. He studied under Karl von Appen and others before escaping East Germany. When he escaped a few of his paintings were painted over for political reasons. Since following the manifest destiny and traveling west he began to paint an anti-art style known as Capitalistic Realism. Through this period he used art to show the over indulgent consumerism in Western art. But, he has ventured out of this into many different styles, including but not limited to more abstract and minimalist works. He even designed a stained glass window that adorns the Cologne Cathedral. Unfortunately though the window was not to the liking of Joachim Meisner who said the window would more properly fit a mosque motif, rather than a Christian church.

But why has Richter come to prominence in this blog? First, many consider him to be among the, if not the greatest living artist. It is not place to judge these things as I seek only to be informed and do my best to inform. However, I would be remiss in my quest for knowing what is worth knowing if I ignored so prominent a figure as Gerhard Richter. But, in all reality, Gerhard Richter was the first artist from my old homeland of Saxony to catch my eye. It is only a bonus that he happens to be someone of world note. So as we move forward on our crabwise journey towards utter enlightenment in the non-moksha sense Richter will be a benchmark that we measure all art against. Much like we shall judge all movies against Ken Finkleman's cinematic classic Airplane II: The Sequel.

Remember folks, "Irony can be pretty ironic sometimes"

The T.R.I.B.E rides deep, so deep you might drown.

Saxony Line I-VIII

Last time we spoke about the difference between common decency and political correctness. It wasn't our best post. It was just what we were feeling at the moment. But, we needn't travel very far for the continuation of the illustrious Saxony Line of pure thought experiment. Sticking in Carson, California we have found a topic that has piqued our interest, whetted our appetites and made us want to share with you - the faithful reader of the ramblings of a reinvigorated 17th century philosopher of note.

Carson is a city in Los Angeles County with an unique history. There are two anecdotes I wish to relate to you to further your well-rounded education. First, is the Battle of the Old Woman's Gun. It was fought between the Californio Lancers and the US Marines on October 8-9, 1846. The Marines outnumbered the Californios 4-1 but the Lancers galloped their horses on the dusty Dominguez Hills while running back and forth between their canons. The 200 marines thought they had run into a much larger force and ended up retreating back to the sea. The reason it is called the Battle of the Old Woman's Gun is because like Hollywood nowadays, Californians have a penchant for dramatizing everything. Remember this is the same state that brought us movies based on the riveting history of the Johnson County Wars (Heaven's Gate), the fascinating cult that is Scientology (Battlefield Earth) and Bennifer (Gigli - even Ben's lost interest).

The second fascinating point of history of Carson is a spy who struck it rich with oil. Frederick Russell Burnham was a spy caught up in the with Fritz Duquense of the Duquesne Spy Ring. In true Hollywood style Burnham bested his rival after the second Boer war, moved to California and stuck those same dusty Dominguez Hills the Californios and their prancing ponies had used to best the Marines in 1846. So that is the truncated, uh, I mean, concise history of Carson, California. All the main points. Also, Carson has had a number of notable rappers live in its confine. Dr. Dre, The Game, Ras Kass, Bishop Lamont and most importantly Boo-Ya T.R.I.B.E.

The T.R.I.B.E rides deep, so deep you might drown.

Don't taze me bro.

Hanover Line I-VIII

Last time on the Hanover line we discussed a naked runner being stunned in Cincinnati, OH. As painfully fun as that was I decided that more research was needed on the stunning of people with electricity to create safety for the public.

First, I looked into how to acquire a stun gun to see how easy it was. Thanks to the ease the Internet offers us I was able to type "stun gun" into eBay and find over 3500 offerings ranging from $1 - $825. At this discount 100% of the 99% can afford it, making the streets incredibly safer for us all.

Second, I looked into the usage of stun guns by police offers. There was always an uproar over their usage. In one a man who had led the police on a forty-five minute high speed chase was zapped when he refused to comply with police after they had stopped him and lunged at the police officer. He is now suing the city police force for excessive force and emotional trauma. Never mind that he was just convicted for his fifth DUI offense in eight years. He'll probably win the case. Another instance that just happened where a man doped up on bath salts was squeezing his six month year old son to the point of the child screaming in fear and pain. It took six shots to bring the man down after he endangered his son's life. I smell blood in the water, call me for representation.

Third, I found a story where two men who had purchased stun guns legally used them to rob two restaurants. I'm feeling safer already. They're lucky they didn't try to stick up a zombie restaurant!

Zombie Restaurants

The restaurant business has hit quite a slump recently. Before the recession people ate out or ordered takeout an average of 208 times. Now, they average only 195 times a year. On an unrelated note, obesity is still a large scale problem in the United States.

However egregious eating out 208 times or even 195 times a year is, it does mark a significant shift in consumer behavior and thus a major dip into restauranteurs' pocketbooks. Chains like Chevy's, Sbarro, Perkins and a personal favorite, Friendly's have filed chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. But these undead joints are now being referred to zombie restaurants because they simply will not die. And while they refuse to die they continue to eat the flesh of non-franchise, non-chain mid priced restaurants. These zombies are literally devouring the competition.

As scary as this may be for aspiring restauranteurs, the term zombie restaurant sent my heart into defibrillation. I imagined something akin to a Big Boys where your waiter looks like exhibit x (above) hoping to serve you a Turkey Club Melt with some sort of garnish that renders you paralyzed so that you could be eaten alive. It's enough to make me weep like a little boy who has had his schnitzel stolen by some bullies.

Beware of zombie restaurants and support your local diner. Whatever you do don't go to Bennigan's. Bennigan's was totally dead and now they're on their way back. These guys are even more dangerous than zombies. They're freaking vampires.

Bedlam in Bethlehem

Oh little town of Bethlehem,

how still we see thee lie,

A fight between the priests with brooms

The scars will soon be nigh!

Too easy. Too cheesy.

Riot police were called in to deal with a melee between Greek Orthodox priests and their Armenian brethren in which both sides wielded the weapons of war, broomsticks. Click here for video. The Church of the Nativity is maintained by Roman Catholics, Greek Orthodox and Armenian Apostolic priests and monks. Unfortunately, they don't always play nice when they enter each other's territories. This time the brush up wasn't over the well-known filioque controversy, the Romans weren't even involved in the brouhaha. But it also appears that no Crude Jude jokes were cracked by the Greeks and no chants of "we were first" came from the Armenians. There doesn't seem to have been any Byzantine theological debate debacle, just a scuffle because someone crossed the invisible line that one of the priests had called out. I don't have much else more, but I think a Banksy tag is in the making.

Common decency is not political correctness

Saxony Line I-VII

We last left the pure stream of consciousness that is the Saxony Line with IBM's claim that mind control is possible and the potential dangers that brings if it falls into the wrong hands. We also discussed the ramifications of thinking about the president of the United States and our smartphones dialing him up only to receive a knock at the door by the Secret Service. This thought mystified and terrified us. Now, we are scared even more by the Secret Service after learning that they monitor social media for negative comments.

A failed city council candidate in Carson, California was approached by the Secret Service for remarks that he made on his Facebook page, calling for the monkey president to be assassinated. The Secret Service came aknocking for this. At first, I was scared by the Secret Service and wondered aloud if they were monitoring me for my incendiary comments. Then I had a simultaneous dawning of two important facts. First, I am not a racist and have never posted anything close to this type of vile on any webposting or personal journal. Second, I have a very limited audience whom I wish to thank for checking in on my ramblings. Even if I were to make a stupid comment (unlikely given my intellect) only a small handful of people would notice.

But the thing that scared me the most were the comments on this article. Many rightly condemned the man for his remarks. Unfortunately, many who condemned the remarks did so in hypocritically inflammatory language. The moral high ground was lost in red-neck cracker remarks. More disturbing was those who defended the man and his remarks on the grounds that we need not be so politically correct. While political correctness has stymied positive intellectual debate in recent years, referring to any human being in a derogatory way based on the color of his skin is not merely being politically incorrect. It is being closed-minded and racist. Racism has no place in the modern world. This has nothing to do with cultural relativism, only with decency and the mantra to treat others how you wish to be treated. Humanity is a broken lot. Further dividing us by skin color is something we do not need. Tamper down the rhetoric folks. At the end of the day, we're all human.

Optimistic Cleveland and Naked tasers

Hanover Line I-VII

Last time on the Hanover line of thought stream we talked about the possible scenarios of Kim Jong-un and dangerous neighborhoods worth braving for pizza. Upon further reflection this post was much too negative for my liking. You have my sincerest apologies for being so un-optimistic.

Therefore we shall move to a more pleasant minded conclusion in Cleveland, OH. According to the Cleveland Plain Dealer most of the news was about people doing wrong things and getting arrested for it. My initial thought was, with all of these headlines I could have simply wrote, it can only get better from here Cleveland! But, I finally found one story worth the optimism that I hope to spout.

A couple of blokes were reported to be streaking around University Heights. These two men were reportedly sprinting around the way, in the buff. How is this optimistic? It could've ended much worse, like for the guy in the Cincinnati Flying Pig Marathon. Brett Henderson was tased by police for public indecency and obstruction of official business and was unable to complete the marathon. Cleveland, at least you aren't Cincinnati!

Voltaire on Abbé

Voltaire I-I

Voltaire, oh my poor lost soul Voltaire. Upon reading Candide I find myself shaking my head. Such a brilliant wit, such a brilliant mind, so full of negativity. The Pangloss you have employed so well is unfortunately a straw man. But, your work is of no doubt, genius. You have made the Western Canon and you are still taught today to be imitated by lesser minds with more dangerous and disastrous consequences. While your jaded confrontations have spurned meaningful reform and your pointed criticisms has caused a great deal of informed debate, in the hands of the unscrutinized mind you have created the exact opposite of what you intended. Rather than creating thinking minds, critical of everything you have created critics of no accord. They spew vile without an intention for change, only hoping to uphold the status quo. But, alas, whenever I pick up a book of yours I find myself reading until the very end, such is your work of great talent and skill. My thoughts on your magnum opus will come later. For now let us suffice by growing through your Dictionnaire philosophique.

Abbé, Monsier l'Abbé

'Tis true the corruption of the true doctrine of Christ is brought about by vicious and selfish men. The fathers of monks in our days had grown envious of the bishops and the power and wealth they had. The fathers of monks had grown rich beyond what ought to have been proper to them. Today, as I look around the Christian landscape I see many of the abuses that plagued our days. There is rampant selfishness, wanton abuse of power, and shameless twisting of Scripture. You rightly forewarned these men, "tremble, lest the day of reason arrive".

The day of reason has arisen and the power of the Church and the true Gospel has waned in the eyes of men. But that reason, once a champion of the oppressed has become itself the oppressor. Everywhere the men of faith face challenges once thought long abolished by Roman Emperors (whose reasons may or may not have been godly and motivated by love of Christ). The proud secular heritage of the newest endowment of France, the Republic and the Indoctrinating cry of separation of Church and State served well to curb the powers of corrupt bishops and abbés. But now that secularizing has left men corrupt themselves.

Voltaire, you railed against the oppression of the weak by the strong. You harangued against intolerance where ever you perceived it. Now, as the secularists push religion to the margins of society are you satisfied? I think not. I think that your tolerance, such a valiant goal in theory has given birth to a very unfortunate consequence. The association between religion and oppression has been hammered too hard and now faith is synonymous with uncritical assessments of life. But, I wonder, how many uncritical minds have come to this conclusion? However, what remains still in spite of the undiscriminating skepticism of this age is thankfully, faith, hope and love. Optimism has already won the day.

An assessment of the Urban Outfitters vs. IKEA war

Urban Outfitters has a 505,266 twitter army that dwarfs even the combined strength of IKEA's regionally based army. Point UO.

Urban Outfitters has 176 stores proper to IKEA's giant 316 spanning 38 countries. Point IKEA.

IKEA also dwarfs UO in employee size to a 4 to 1 ratio. Point IKEA.

At the moment it appears IKEA is well placed to check UO's growing power. However, if the hipsterification is complete enough too many people will be left unaware by the schemes of UO. Plus, UO has a terrifying ally in the owl. Owls can no longer be trusted, even ones claiming allegiance to Hogwarts.

In times of financial stress we turn to the stabilizing force that is Gerhard Richter

2011 was admittedly a pretty volatile year for investing. It was up and down and up and down to the point that I felt a little bit sick watching my modest investments plummet and recover. But, the überinvestors, the Übermensch of the financial world, while no sympathy is necessary, were all over the place. If I lost 20% and then gained it back we are talking about $20 daily swings. For them, we're adding six zeros. On a daily basis! Again, I'm not advocating sympathy for these guys, just admitting my astonishment at that number.

All this market volatility has made speculators move from stocks and bonds into art and wine. I'll never understand collecting wine. Wine in my view is better or worse only when one tastes it. It's financial value is in some ways detrimental to its intrinsic value. Purchasing wine for collection purposes also has no instrumental purpose as it does not enhance the intrinsic value. If that $1,000 dollars worth of wine, say, a case of 1978 Léoville Las Cases sits only in a cellar and is never enjoyed for its intended purpose its intrinsic value is lost entirely. The buying and selling of wine for collection purposes only therefore destroys its intrinsic value and creates a purely artificial one. Artificial value is utterly meaningless, rendering wine pointless. But, I have digressed.

Art purchasing is something I understand a bit more. Fine art and fine art collectors have been around for nearly as long as each other. Generally speaking art investment is a good idea. In these financially tumultuous times, wealthy investors have turned to art as a safe haven. The contemporary art market has surged to a $1.7 Billion dollar industry this year, up 35%. Who tops this list? None other than our good friend Gerhard Richter. Richter set records at both Sotheby's and Christie's this year. Fair play Gerhard.

IKEA seeks to check Urban Outfitter's growing power

In a shrewd move to pin Urban Outfitters down, IKEA has recently purchased land for the first IKEA store in Korea. They have purchased the land in Gwangmyeong and will look to have the store open by 2014. Hail IKEA! Save us from doom. Thanks to the Chosun Ilbo for this optimistic report. Gwangmyeong's location could give IKEA the chance to bring about the Elagabulus scenario for Kim Jong-un as well.

Why Hipsters are dangerous

First and foremost, hipsters are dangerous because they are notoriously difficult to categorize. However, for those who do not identify themselves and are merely looking to identify the enemy amongst, this distinction is unnecessary. However, a hipster dislikes labels so calling them any of these names would be offensive to them: hipster (calling a hipster a hipster will cause them to cringe simply because it is a label), scenester (a vain hipster), emo (a hipster who is still a teenager), scene kid (a scenester who still uses myspace), poser (a hipster who other hipsters hate for their commercialized tendencies), trendster (a hipster who is trendy) or indie (a category that would be too inclusive for a hipster’s taste).

But, for us non-hipsters and non hipster-curious types, a hipster can be any of these things. A hipster therefore, is merely a trendy teenager or young adult that tends toward progressive movements with no ideological anchoring. In this sense, they are akin to many of the 99%ers and Occupy protestors. While these occupy protestors are mad without knowing what exactly they are made about, a hipster is disenfranchised with only a vague understanding of what they are disenfranchised from. Hipsters will often look like 19^th century dandies or be wearing clothes that look like, but are not purchased from (or openly announced as being purchased from) Urban Outfitters. However, UO has yet to inculcate all of their shoppers yet, hence there are hipsters and hipster curious.

But, why would such a seemingly innocuous segment of the population be so dangerous? Their drive to be non-conformist for the sake of non-conformity will eventually lead us as a species to extinction. It is only a matter of time before they simply choose not to eat because everyone else is eating. They will refuse to procreate because procreation is viewed as cool, something that hipsters hate. This will lead to an unsexed and starving population. At this point the governments of the world will have no recourse but to turn to people that understand hipsters and what hipsters like. They will unfortunately have no recourse but to turn to the recent region carved from the corners of Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan, and Tajikistan known as the United Republic of Urban Outfitters. In short the dangers of Hipsters comes from the impending rise of Hipsterdom.

By being forced to turn to The United Republic of Urban Outfitters, governments will have to concede powers to UO and their evil genius Republican masters, leaving us all vulnerable to the greedy 1% of the 1% of the 1%, known as the .001%. These individuals will then control everything in deed and in name. Scary stuff. Beware of the hipsters. When you see a hipster, engage them in rational debate causing them to become further disenfranchised. They will eventually become disenfranchised with being disenfranchised. Their tendency towards a lack of thoughtful non-conformity will cause them to act non-conformingly towards nonconformity. This will cause a short circuit in their synapses, rendering them yuppies. Hey, yuppies are at least productive members of society.

The succession of Kim Jong-Il at Georgio's Oven Fresh on East 55th street in Cleveland, OH

Hanover Line I-VI

Last time on the glorious Hanover line of thought we spoke of suburbanite indoctrination by evil corporate geniuses at Urban Outfitters. Moving from the glacial pace of UO's propagandism towards a high-speed one, we move from Philadelphia headquarters to Pyongyang. Recently, Kim Jong-il, the supreme leader of North Korea passed away. While he is still being mourned in North Korea and other places like Tehran, Mogadishu, and Scovill Avenue in Cleveland, OH, the rest of the world now focuses on Kim Jong-un, the Great Successor in North Korea and his impending control of the country. On a side note, while Scovill Ave may be the second most dangerous neighborhood in America according to these guys, I must say the risk is well rewarded when ingurgitating some subs at Georgio's around the corner on East 55th street (as Kim Jong-un has been wont to do). But, moving back to our topic...

At this time of great peril, I think that we ought to look at some succession scenarios for the young lad Kim Jong-un. In random order I give you some succession scenarios:

The Elagabulus scenario: Kim Jong-un could come to power and follow Elagabulus' order of business. He could replace the religion of North Korea and become its high priest whilst hosting dinner parties using whoopee cushions for entertainment purposes. When that proves to be futile he can declare a popular figure to be dead to gauge reaction from the masses and the generals. Sadly for Elagabulus this ended in his and his mother's death at the hands of the Praetorian Guard.

The Charles VII route: Kim Jong-un, a leader of a divided Korea looks fairly similar. Charles VII did not have control over much of France at the beginning of his reign and controlled neither Paris, the capital, nor Reims, where the kings of his family were crowned. Later in his reign he lost control of his empire to his son, which eventually caused him to grow mad. He died lonely in his death bed while his reign was overshadowed by a woman.

The Emperor Modi line: Kim Jong-un, whose kingdom is suspiciously close to the descendants of the Mongols could opt for this route, though he already has about a half a week on old Modi. Modi, the last of the Jin dynasty was crowned during the Mongol attack, but was killed 20 minutes later.

The Sayid Khalid bin Barghash of Zanzibar route: Kim Jong-un could spark a 38 minute war with an international superpower and be deposed, resulting in a life on the lam only to return home to die peacefully.

All of these options are open to Kim Jong-un, or he could be like his father and be a parasitic vulture and continue to cripple millions of North Korea. His choice.

IKEA has come to save us from Urban Outfitters!

We first uncovered an Urban Outfitters plot to take over the world and published it here. Later, we found a possible methodology and wondered aloud, if there would come forth a knight in shining armor to save us from the clutches of the evil UO. It appears that our prayers have been answered by a driving force out of Småland. The Skogsra and Sjora have been called out from the woods and waters, respectively in such a show of force it will cause even the mightiest trolls at Urban Outfitters to fear. One can only hope for a soul as stout as Styrbjörn the Strong to emerge from the melee.

What am I talking about you may ask? As you recall, UO is bent on world domination. First by creating an entire population of hipsters, unable or unwilling to stand confrontation long enough and thus, so docile that enslavement will merely be sulkingly lamented rather than vigorously fought against. Second, UO is acculturating us to accept their cartographical skills by customizing them with butterflies and hipster-friendly emblems, slowly but surely carving out a small empire for themselves. Since we the hipster sheep will undoubtedly continue to buy only their maps, the gradual expansion of the United Republic of Urban Outfitters carved out of some Eurasian "stan" countries we've never heard of will become commonplace to us. By the time they have effectively mounted their way into Western European countries we have some vague name recognition of it will be too late as the hipsterification of the Western World will have been complete. With that backdrop in mind it was clear that we needed a corporation to fend off this naked power grab by UO. That corporation has appeared in the non-publicly traded (this is important to us 99%ers with no aspirations of reaching the 1%) company IKEA.

IKEA has decided to build a neighborhood in East London attracting to it IT and creatives to it. I wonder if they have any need for a stand-up philosopher, but I've digressed. Certainly, IKEA will not stand for some other corporation attempting to control all of the world. And since IKEA and UO both sell house furnishings there is no likelihood of some impending evil axis between the two. Thus, the great epic battle of the 21st century has begun. In one corner the evil empire, UO and the other, our champion and hero, the Swedish Hammer, IKEA.

Länge leve Sverige!

Long live IKEA!

Georgian SPLOST vs. Even better, Optional Taxes

I recently read in the December 10th issue of The Economist about this thing called a "special purpose local-option sales tax" or SPLOST for short. Basically what is happening is the local Georgian government is setting a ballot initiative to allow voters to decide whether or not they want to take on a tax to pay for badly needed infrastructure. I thought that the idea was rather brilliant, but didn't go quite far enough. More on this in a second. However, the Tea-Party Republicans have come out strongly against the list for a number of reasons.

Firstly, they are against it because the list of projects that were announced for the ballot lacked oversight. Secondly, it is poorly planned. These are absolutely valid objections that ought to be heard. Third, it violates county sovereignty. This reason might have been valid recently, but I think that the communication ability between constituents and their representatives is so great nowadays that this objection carries less and less weight. In bygone days when constituents would only see their state leaders during election times it was important to maintain county sovereignty. But today there are such little barriers between someone in Fayette County (whom the Economist cited) and Atlantan politicians that a strong county government is no longer necessary. It is a 45 minute drive from Fayetteville to Atlanta. Likewise, the days when politicians can simply say, "pay no attention to that man behind the curtain" are long gone. A strong local government simply isn't as necessary today. But, I'll reluctantly grant that some local county sovereignty issues are raised for locally-minded individuals.

Their final reason for opposing the procedure is one that cannot be valid in a vibrant democracy. The Tea Party Republicans' final point of contention is that creation of a rail network invites terrorist activities. Even if this is an absolute truth, the moment that Americans begin to withhold progress out of fear of terrorism, then terrorism has a de facto victory and forced genuflection of the American people.

Moving on from the serious to the flippant, as I said earlier however, the dosage of direct democracy in this Georgian measure is not enough. Georgia ought to take a look at how well direct democracy has played out in California. Offer the public a chance to pay for the infrastructure. If they choose to pay the 1 cent sales tax, send them a thank you card with a toll deferring sticker for their cars or a discount card for the aforementioned railway. If they opt out of the tax send them a card that exempts them from the 1 cent tax, but not a discount card. Obviously both of these, the opt out card or the discount card would have to be a state issued picture ID. Thus, solving another contentious issue for Tea Party fellows, the extreme danger of voter fraud.

Mind control within five years! Lovely, odd, disheartening and potential danger to imminently follow

Saxony line I-VI

Recently we discussed the novocolonial mind control techniques of the world's most interesting man of creating something meaningful out of utter meaningless. Today, we must continue our journey after taking a day of vacation to celebrate Boxing Day. So without further ado, we move from the world's most interesting man's coercive persuasion through peddling Dos Equis to a more incredible form of mind control. IBM has predicted that mind powered PCs will be commonplace in five years. Click here for substantiation.

The ability to call a person merely by thinking of them is an incredible idea. Right now, I'm thinking of my incredible fiancee. My phone could be dialing her up right now. But, what if I were to begin to think of someone say, President Obama. Am I going to get through to him? Will I get a knock at the door by some CIA agents because I disagree with a president and think about what I'd like to say to him? Or more eerily, what if I think of my old nemesis François-Marie Arouet? Will my cellular ring him with unwanted and transdimensional consequences? Somehow I think that St. Peter and Anubis are going to figure out ways to block incoming calls, but the technology might have to play catchup to IBM's Jedi force tricks. It all depends on where Steve Jobs resides in the hereafter as to whether upstairs or downstairs has the latest, most stylish tech.

The EPOC neurohead set, purchasable for $299 here and shown in the picture above has caused a more sinister thought to creep its way into my otherwise optimistic mind. The mohawk sporting fellow obviously is the primary target market of Urban Outfitters. God help us all if neurotechnology were to fall into the hands of UO! Will there be a champion to arise that will save us from the evil designs of UO?

Mexican beer and the difference between neocolonialism and novocolonialism.

Saxony Line I-V

Continuing on our incredible research and truth mission to spread optimism to this world whilst tackling pressing issues I recently coined the term novocolonialism. Many of you undoubtedly read this and assumed that I was making merely a linguistic preference as I had with using blogist over blogger. However, in this instance I am not using some parlor trick of language, but making a clear distinction between neocolonialism and novocolonialism.

Neocolonialism is the practice of using economic or global trends by a country with economic clout to control a smaller, less influential country in the same manner as major powers once used military might to colonize regions. Novocolonialism is something entirely different. While both are exploitive in nature, neocolonialism with its use of economic forces to control weaker peoples and nations, novocolonialism employs scatter paint and lyrical abstraction to serve as some sort of mind control. What novocolonialists seek to do is to present something to an entity they feel as inferior with something that has utterly no meaning. However, in reality the presentation has absolutely no meaning. But, because it has been presented as meaningful it causes the unwitting viewer the consternation of creating meaning from the meaningless. The two most egregious examples of this in recent times are the most interesting man in the world and this guy. Strangely, I feel like a Mexican beer and a horse ride.

Come, come, we don't play guitar.

Hanover Line I-V

Last time on the Hanover Line we spoke about the voxpop of hipsterdom. So, this week comes some news to brighten any hipster, closeted hipster or hipster curious human being, which is incidentally anyone who has purchased something from the evil genius that is Urban Outfitters or decried UO as a bastion of plastic, suburbanite indoctrination (every American between the ages of 15-33 falls into one of these categories. Hipsters love and hate UO. Love, because of their product lines. Hate, because of their mass production tendencies. Hipster curious loves UO because of its mass production and relative ease of purchase. Some like the ideas of hipsterism, just not the prerequisite of shopping at difficult to find thrift shops.)

However, at the risk of losing all of my well worked indie cred by picking on hipsters I have just popped in the lossless of Max Alper's untitled improvisation. He's so damn deck he doesn't even have a wikipedia article.

As I was saying before I was sidetracked by my needless explanations and qualifications and the self aggrandizing homage to musical genius, a voice has arisen out of the hipster kingdom that is Williamsburg, Brooklyn only to retreat back into the murky shadows of places like the Trash Bar, which I knew back when it was Luxx. (Hipsters and hipster curious will understand my glee at knowing a dive bar that hosts under appreciated musical talents before anyone else).

The Suzan just played a show at the Big Snow Buffalo Lodge where they announced their coming in the most riveting girl-powered sonicscape since Chicks on Speed told us that they don't play guitars. Check them both out. They will probably save your life.

A lamentable haircut, Donald Trump, and the Urban Outfitters' Conspiracy.

Hanover Line I-IV

It appears that Norris Cole has cut his House Partyesque hair, thus ruining my hopes for a renaissance of Kid N' Play records. I'll simply devote a few hours tomorrow to my corner shrine.

On the topic of parties, it appears as though the GOP has lost Donald Trump, who has reregistered as an independent. In other and totally unrelated news, the GOP has gained much of the credibility they had lost over Boehner's miscalculation on the House Republicans payroll tax showdown.

Still concerning parties, there has been a rash of ugly sweater and turtleneck parties in recent Christmas seasons. For any Beltway insiders, there is one in your neck of the woods going on right now until 11 PM. I have to admit I'm all for sarcasm, satire and lowbrow jokes. I'm even for ruthless mockery and self-deprication, a staple of these parties. However, I find these Ugly Christmas Sweater parties to be nothing more than an excuse for hipsters to commingle with people who secretly want to be hipsters. It is this commingling that has me worried about the growing power of Urban Outfitters, Inc.

Urban Outfitters may model itself as a hipster/hipster-curious hot spot for fashion, accessories and entertainment, but what they sell with their wares are ideals and controls. Ideals that state that not only is it ok to be countercultural, that to be noncountercultural is in fact, countercultural. This anthropogenesis of the androgynous authenticating abstraction is absurd and arid. In other words, a hipster can be laughed at and generally ignored because while he may claim some vox-pop, hipsters generally can't stand being in large groups for long enough to create any lasting idea or movement. Hence, the control.

If this was all UO was doing successfully than we could simply ignore them. However, what UO is doing is as sinister as it is ingenious. By creating generations upon generations of hipsters, UO will render the willpower of men and women to be so weak that these wolves in sheepskin can finally come out and devour all of us with their vapid and vicious soul-crushing consumerism. They've already started to acculturate us to the idea of them redrawing the map in a "personalized" way (see picture). Pretty soon we'll simply defer to UO for real map redistricting since they'll promise to make sure to evenly spread out the butterflies amongst us.

Capitalism 3 - Art 1.

On a more optimistic note, Merry Christmas.

Gerhard Richter is back!

On a more positive note, Gerhard Richter was back in the news today over at the Financial Times. Tally one for art

Capitalism 2 - Art 1

Gender Bending Photomontages and a redefining of art

Saxony line I-IV

The last time we wrote on overstockart.com's top ten oil paintings of 2011 featuring paintings no more recent than 79 years. It made me pause for a second. I thought maybe oil paintings stopped being made well. But, as any good thinker does, I went to the source. Upon further investigation I believe that the top ten paintings of 2011 won their award due to the layout and marketing of the website and not because of any intrinsic value within the paintings. Score one for Capitalism, zero for art. But, I did like some of the paintings from artists that I had not ever noticed before.

One of them was a lady by the name of Hannah Höch from my western neighbor of Gotha, Thuringia. She was a German Dada artist who had a penchant bucking against conventions and traditional roles of men and women. Which could explain the hairy arms of a female mannequin or the winking male mask upon slender female legs in those pictures above. Or she could have been like most dada artists and have simply been strange.

Of course, whenever one thinks of Dada art, which is surprisingly often, they instantly think of Marcel Duchamp's seminal piece Fountaine. The thought provoking nature of a urinal has forever shaped the way we view art. The dethroning of the artist as a god and shifting art estimation from valuing the creative process' work to the more sophisticated mind's interpretative prowess has allowed us to have a definition of art so vast that everything can be considered art. (Thankfully for this blog, my labor no longer constitutes the merit of the work. It simply exists as art, next to literary genius like Plato's Republic, Tolstoy's War and Peace, Proust's In Search of Lost Time and Meyer's New Moon).

On a completely unrelated note I recently hung a reproduction of the Mona Lisa at a 14 degree tilt in a frame that I bought from the local hardware store, took a polaroid of it and signed my name on the white bottom part and submitted it to the local art show. The piece is entitled "Abs? Ur De Leibniz" Last night was the opening of the show and my picture was nowhere to be found. I plan on writing a rather scathing oped piece for the New York Times denouncing the bourgeois establishment that this plastic art community now operates under through their neo-expressionist, novocolonial oppressive mechanistic mindset. On the upside however the piece can be found on eBay for the low bargain of $4.95 and rising (plus $19.95 s&h).

Score two for capitalism, zero for art.

Tax chicken, not chicken tax

Recently we have talked about the cold war era Chicken Tax and the payroll tax extension, specifically how it was not a good idea to try and force a stalemate on this issue. The house Republicans however did not heed my thoughts and decided to play a game of chicken with the Senate and President Obama. The House Republicans blinked first. The payroll tax extension went through today in spite of Tea Party grumbling. This was the right call. It is a shame that the House Republicans tried to politicize this and their gamble did not pay off very well. But, as I optimistically wrote, the payroll tax extension went through.

The Guardian has a colorful, if not brutish description of Tea party bran muffins and the effect it had on John Boehner's digestive track to describe the situation that I appreciated very much. Check it out here. Colorful rhetoric aside, a little humility from the House Republicans might spur on some more cooperation in Washington.

A lack of Gerhard Richter News

There was no Gerhard Richter news today. :(

On a side note, I rubbed my eyes a little bit too hard today and suffered from blurred vision for 13.8 seconds.

Kid Coolout and the protests that matter

Hanover Line I-III

Last time we talked about protests and tax loopholes in the wunderbar Hanover Line of thought. Today we continue that line of thinking with protests, leaving taxes aside for more studious times. In terms of protesting we have a lot going on in the world today. People are protesting all over the Middle East for better lives and losing their own in the process. Syria is the latest in the Arab Spring to see violent clashes. The Occupy movement, though seemingly losing steam still exists as the 99% battle against the 1% to claim wealth in the land of plenty. Russians are protesting rigged elections. The military junta in Burma still has to deal with dissidents and China have all sorts of protestors trying to shake hands with the likes of subversives like Christian Bale. But this protestor is my favorite of the week.

Micky Arison, the owner of the NBA's Miami Heat cast a protest vote against the collective bargaining agreement recently agreed upon to stop the NBA lockout because he felt that having to share revenue with big market clubs is unseemly. Forgive my crudeness on this assessment, but I find this to be a little interesting. It was his purchasing power that sort of started the whole mess in the first place. While there are admittedly all kinds of equity issues raised in revenue sharing among professional sports it was his creation of a superteam that sent the NBA into a sort of frenzy that culminated in a lockout. Of course greed on both sides can be condemned with good conscious, but it is downright laughable that the guy who brought together LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh and Norris Cole's House Partyesque hair cut together is complaining about the CBA. His poaching of James and Bosh from small markets (Cleveland and Toronto respectively) with the acquisition of iconic hairdos from the early nineties shows that he and his team are among the major markets. Plus, Miami is the eighth most populated county in the US. How is this a small market?

Whatever, I'm just happy that Kid Coolout has a voice in the world of sports again.

Top 10 Oil Paintings of 2011

Saxony Line I-III

Continuing the glorious Saxony Line of Thought...

Thanks to these guys I now know the ten most popular oil paintings of 2011.

1. Starry Night - Vincent Van Gogh (1889)

2. Café Terrace at Night - Van Gogh (1888)

3. Branches of an almond tree in blossom - Van Gogh (1888)

4. The Kiss - Gustav Klimt (1908)

5. Garden path at Giverny - Claude Monet (1902)

6. Poppy field at Argenteuil - Monet (1875)

7. The Dream - Pablo Picasso (1932)

8. Farbstudie Quadrate - Wassily Kandinsky (1913)

9. Persistence of Memory - Salvador Dali (1931)

10. The Old Guitarist - Pablo Picasso (1903)

It is my conclusion from the dates of the paintings that all art stopped prior to World War II, or at least there hasn't been any good art produced since then. Join me next time when we discuss the nature of popularity. Adieu.