An interview with Hugo Chavez

Leibniz: Mr. Chavez, I am very honored that you have accepted my request for an interview and am pleasantly surprised you've brought along your parrot.

Hugo: Thank you for having us.

Leibniz: Before we get into any policy questions, how are you feeling? Are you recovering from the cancer since your last treatments in Cuba?

Hugo: Yes, I am doing much better. Thank you for asking.

Leibniz: On the subject of medical treatment in Cuba...

Hugo: Wait, one second. Do you mind if I interrupt. I didn't think so. There has been a recent rash of cancer among us Latin American leaders. Have you noticed that? I mean there is me, Argentina's Cristina Fernandez, me, Paraguay's Fernando Lugo, me, Brazil's Dilma Rousseff, me, Lula da Silva and I have all come down with cancer. Don't you think that is weird? Abnormal, and slightly conspiratorial?

Leibniz: That does seem to be a pretty high cancer rate. Do you think that this has anything to do with...

Hugo: What do we all have in common? We are successful leftward progressives who have looked at the evil empire and smiled while flouting our defiance and taking aid. We have stood up to America and her minions. Don't you think that this is odd? A little atypical? Maybe a little like a cabal?

Leibniz: I think it is highly coincidental and there must be some...

Hugo: ...link between the cancer and something extraordinary? Something uncommon? Maybe a little bit of intrigue? Some contrivance, no?

Leibniz: I'm sorry Mr. Chavez but your allusions have left me a little bit lost.

Hugo: Firstly, I'm not accusing anyone, merely pondering aloud. So, do not get the wrong impression or I will shut your blog down like I've shut all the media down in my country.

Leibniz: I'm not sure I'm widely read in Venezuela as I publish in English.

Hugo: All the same, do not twist my words. I am merely building castles in the air. I do find it curious that all the of us socialist, care for the people not corporation type leaders, have come down with cancer. I mean America, for all of its faults is incredible at producing technology. Maybe they have created some technology that has injected us good fellows with the cancer. Fidel has been telling me I need to watch what I eat.

Leibniz: I'm sorry. Are you accusing America of infecting you and other Latin American heads of state with cancer?

Hugo: I make no such claim! How dare you insinuate such a thing! I am only constructing the air castles! Little towers. A drawbridge over a moat. All in the air. But, if you are tying those two things together you see my thoughts may not be far off...

The interview ended abruptly when armed guards came out of his air castle and stole my notes.