NFL Playoffs Round 1

AFC Round 1

Cincinnati vs. Houston

Cincinnati will come out strong and dominate in a dictatorial way. But Houston, just like their namesake, will wrap up the bandage and keep on fighting. Cincinnati will resign after this and Houston will go on the offensive. As the fourth quarter dawns and it looks as though Houston will have Cincinnatus surrounded, he will come forth out of his resignation and lead the Bengals to a final charge. Victory Cinncy!

Denver vs. Pittsburg

Pittsburg will play as their namesake played. William Pitt's single mindedness and determination drove the English on to victory over France in the Seven Year's War. But Denver, yes Denver, named after the Kansas Territorial Governor James W. Denver will provide some theatrics. In addition to his duties as Governor Mr. Denver was an actor and loved to play in Macbeth. Alas, there shall be some regicide and the kings of the AFC will notice that there's daggers in men's smiles. As if that wasn't enough evidence to proffer this presumption, William Pitt had a longstanding rival named the Lord Holland. His friends and mum called him Henry Fox. I'm pretty sure if we look closely enough at the genealogical records we shall discover that Broncos Head Coach John Fox is his heir. Victory for the Broncos.

NFC Round 1

Detroit vs. New Orleans

It is only fitting that these two former Francophones meet up in the playoffs. The firepower of the rum-running Lions will come out early and often. But even the likes of the Sugar House Gang could not stop the massacre that will come. Philippe II, the Duke of Orleans would be proud of his namesake. The Lions defense will be skewered as efficiently as Philippe skewered the House of Orange at the Battle of Steenkerque. In the end le Régent will prove too powerful for the overmatched Lions. Victory, New Orleans.

Atlanta vs. New York Giants

The Duke of York, James II has got quite a feat to accomplish if he hopes to overcome the Grecian heroine's namesake. Like Atalanta, the Falcons will run quickly and be as ferocious as the boars they hunt. William Thomas Romanowski would be proud. But the Duke is steadfast. He would never run at the first sign of trouble. Oh wait, there he goes. He has abdicated and the glorious revolution has begun. Victory Atlanta.