IKEA is under attack in Belgium

It had been quiet in the post-holiday slump of the IKEA and Urban Outfitters war, but alas to the war we go. We know that IKEA has some strong allies in Quebec and Ottawa. We know that Owls have sided with UO. And we now know that Belgian restauranteurs are not to be trusted. According to these guys IKEA is under attack in Belgium on account of their deliciously discounted meatballs. Just thinking about it makes me long for some lingonsylt...

The story goes that Belgian restaurants are upset because of the price of IKEA's meatballs, which at €2.50 makes them even more appealing. The Belgian protestors claim that IKEA is serving up their meatballs at a price that is below cost in order to lure an unsuspecting public into their stores. This practice is illegal in Belgium. The restauranteurs claim that once people eat the inexpensive meatball they will look at restaurants as thieves. Au contraire, mon frère, the real thieves is UO! But, this is beside the point.

To counter IKEA's strategic meatball costs the restauranteurs have banded together and started to bus in 200 homeless people to feed them meatballs. They hope that the sight of the homeless will scare off customers and force IKEA to raise their meatball prices. In the antebellum world this would seem like normal Belgian waste of talent, after all this is the country that went over 250 days without a government. But, as we know the seriousness of Urban Outfitter's plans on world domination and IKEA's vow to stop it, this attack can't be ignorant of the times we live in. Stand firm IKEA. If they keep bussing the homeless in simply use your bathroom department to give them all hot showers. Put them in the blue jumpsuits of your back room workers and have them take a nap on your incredibly comfortable and uniquely modern couches. Win-win.